Canada's Evil Design To Enslave China Revealed!

Conrad, at The Gweilo Diaries has a scoop:

It was bound to happen eventually — the folks at China Daily have finally gone well and truly bat-shit:

This China, would have been split and subverted into many different lands and many different slave nations for the west, if not for a group of men led by one man, and that man was the mighty Chairman Mao.

Who instead enslaved China himself.

Slave nations, under Russia and the USSR, under Japan, under, the USA, under Canada, under the UK, under France, under Germany, under even Australia and New Zealand, under Thailand and Vietnam, under India and even Pakistan.

Accepting that Japan, Britain, France, Germany and the US have some dodgy Sino-history to answer for, under Canada? Who the hell have the inoffensive Canooks ever enslaved? New Zealand? With what, an expeditionary force comprised of sheep? Pakistan? The Pakis can't even control the northern half of their own country, much less China. And finally, it takes a particularly through-the-looking-glass view of Asian history to think that Vietnam has ever posed a threat to Chinese sovereignty.

Curses! Our intended victims have divined our evil plan! I was getting used to the idea of owning Manchuria, too! Just think: we'd have nearly doubled the size of Canada, and increased our population by, er, a very big number.

Oh, well, call off the invasion: we'll resume the original plan of subverting Hollywood.