Jack Knox beats the war drum

Just in case you still think of Canada as the 98-pound weakling of North America (and let's face it, who doesn't?), Jack Knox thinks the upcoming war with Denmark is a slam-dunk:

The problem with going nose to nose with Greenland is the Inuit think it's foreplay.

Which is why we're going to fight Denmark instead, dropping the gloves in a border war.

This will come as a shock to those who were unaware we even share a border with Denmark, which we don't, really.

Our actual neighbour is the aforementioned, quasi-independent Greenland — the Danish Factory Outlet Store, as it were, way out on the edge of town beside Ellesmere Island and Costco.

Greenland, Denmark, whatever — bring it on, we're going to war.

Hat tip to SOMNIA.