The Food Police

Frequent comment writer, "Da Wife", has been having issues with the staff at her son's school. She asked if I'd let her rant about it . . . and I was happy to give her some space for it:

Our son is in Junior Kindergarten. Until he started school most of his food knowledge has been from us, his parents. Since he started school, when we serve certain foods, they have been increasingly accompanied by little commentaries from him such as "Cheerios are bad for you" (carbs). "Apples are good for you and make you big and strong". "Peanuts can make you die" (I guess a kid in his class is allergic). These comments are not something he would think of himself.

He has been coming home with many comments specifically about his lunch and snack contents. His lunch and snacks are balanced but do contain little treats such as Rice Crispy Squares. At home we offer good food and some treats too, and in general we do not preach about food causing death. Some gentle inquiries let us know that his teacher and the lunch helpers (from now on referred to as the Food Police) are indoctrinating our son and the other children in his class with the official Food Police views on food. Now remember that these are 4- and 5-year-olds who probably have very limited influence on what is put in their lunch. Aside from making them feel bad, how much good is the lecturing doing? Well it is doing a great job of undermining the parents' authority.

There is nothing quite as successful as undermining the influence of parents to make the children more susceptible to suggestion from other sources, such as the school system.

In February the school board conducted a month-long tally of all students’ morning snacks to see if the snacks are balanced and contain the major food groups. Yes, the official government-sanctioned Food Police were out to make sure that the children are eating properly. Yes, our tax dollars are now being spent on digging through kindergarteners’ snacks.

In March, I was unpacking my son's lunchbag and saw his sandwich was uneaten. His answer was that his teacher said it was too sweet so he did not eat it. I go to great pains to ensure that my very picky son will eat his sandwiches every day and at the same time ensure they are healthy. The sandwich in question contained 100% whole wheat bread. The margarine was non-hydrogenated 0mg cholesterol and 0mg trans fat with Omega-3. The jam was actually apple butter which — wait for it — is puréed apples and nothing else. But yes, to the eye it did appear that it was a sandwich with butter and jam. Maybe if the teacher actually spoke to me instead of making snide comments she would find out otherwise. This prompted a very angry phone call to the school office and a chat with the teacher the next day. She of course, not wishing to admit that she basically bullied a 4-year-old, said it was all in my son's head and he misunderstood. I left fuming after explaining to her the contents of his lunch and getting it across that her comments are not appreciated. The comments from the teacher seem to have lessened but I still hear that the other kids are still receiving them.

At the beginning of May, we received a "Healthy Eating Newsletter". This is from the same school that has not exactly been stellar on the province-wide standardized testing; maybe they should concentrate their energies elsewhere.

In another neighborhood school, if a child brings something the Food Police consider bad, the child has to take it to the office and trade it in for a piece of fruit. So nice of the school to take away a food that the parents spent their hard earned money on. I do wonder what happens to all these confiscated snacks. The office staff should have regular weigh-ins.

Up until about two weeks ago, we just simply attempted to deprogram our son whenever the need arose, aside from the one sandwich incident. Then came the final blow: after all the lectures, letters home about good eating, and the government-sanctioned snackbag inspections, then came the fundraiser. What do you ask was involved in the fundraiser? Selling apples for a dollar? Selling stuffed animals? Oh no: selling very large chocolate bars! Given out on behalf of the school by none other than Ms. Food Police herself, the classroom teacher!

Obviously the health of our children and our society is only important when money is not involved. The principal boasted about the good cause the money would go to. I was going to have a chat with the principal but then I remembered that he actually believes the themes of the month that involve teaching children about courage, empathy, sharing, etc. instead of the three Rs. As parents are no longer equipped to teach these themes at home, the school system has taken upon themselves the arduous task of teaching these qualities. After all, you hand in a report to your boss; he will not care if you cannot spell. As long as you do it with courage and are munching on a carrot stick.

And I used to think it was bad ten years ago, when we were getting the gears from Victor's school about "acceptable" foods . . .