QotD: The Ghost of a Flea guide to employee relations

Ma malakat aymanukum — literally, what your right hands possess (ما ملكت أيمانکم) — is a reference in the Koran to slaves. Those with prurient interests, or considering life as a Muslim convert, may find themselves drawn to a better understanding of Islamic law regarding sex with slaves. A quick summary of the rules should come in handy. For example, if you co-own a slave she is off limits. Sex with your wife's slaves is also a no no. But if you are worried because your slave was married when you took her captive . . . no problem, go to town, she is yours so far as Allah is concerned. Just do not have sex with your slave's sister because that would be improper unless, presumably, you kill her male relatives and enslave her too in which case no harm no foul. No word on the age of . . . well, consent is not exactly a factor here . . . the age of your sex slaves but given Mohammad was the perfect man somewhere between the age of six and nine is the precedent. So if your slave is five years old better be safe than sorry and rape enjoy one of your ten year old slaves instead.

Nick Packwood, "What your right hands possess", Ghost of a Flea, 2008-07-25