Western martial arts get some notice

I've pretty much given up rapier fencing in the last couple of years, more from lack of time than from any diminished interest. According to USA Today, the sport has continued to grow:

The golf cases propped up against the walls are full of swords, daggers and the occasional bit of chain mail. The halls of the community center ring with the clash of steel, the thud of shields and the quick snip-snip of rapiers. The books quoted are as often as not in medieval German or Latin.

Welcome to a Western martial arts conference. Not a cowboy or lariat in sight. Western in this case is Western European, as opposed to the better-known Asian variety.

These are the arts of warfare and self-defense of medieval and renaissance Europe. Also called historical martial arts, they employ bare hands, pikes, a variety of swords, daggers and rapiers in the way that practitioners of Eastern martial arts might use bo staves, Katana swords and Tanto knives.

Unlike in the East, these fighting traditions died out in Europe in the 1600s with the introduction of gunpowder-fueled weapons.

But now they're making a comeback.

If you watch the video, you'll see a variety of sword styles, but that only begins to scratch the surface of all the interesting ways to simulate the fine arte of skewering, hacking, slashing, and bashing your opponent. All good, clean fun!

Update: The inevitable Fark thread:

birdmanesq:
Thanks for the heads up. Now I have a totally new group of weirdos to avoid.

NuttierThanEver:
Translation: These are a bunch of cosplayers who have graduated from foam swords to the real thing and are making up shiat as they go along. Say what you will about karate and wushu practioners but when you can trace the lineage of instruction back 400 some odd years it means more than learning from some guy named Jerry who's WOW handle is Lord Dark Nightshade.

The Stealth Hippopotamus:
So it's the SCA without the drinking, drumming, and dancing. So basically its the SCA without the fun.

DeadGeek:
"Want to see cool, watch saber competitions. Blindingly fast and savage strikes. Shame the western media coverage of the Olympics does 98% basketball and diving, 2% track and field."

Saber bouts are fun to watch, but I swear they award the point to whomever screams the loudest.

/Been fencing for 13 years
//Epee fencer
///Will NEVER Saber fence again

Ah, Fark: the good, the bad, the plainly demented. The id, unmedicated.

As the Patriots stumble . . .

. . . the jackals close in:

Somewhere in South America, a village is getting a shipment of "19-0" T-shirts. Giants upset Patriots 17-14 to win Super Bowl

impaler: Brady really played like the 6th round draft that he is.

Mediocre-Photoshops-Incorporated:

rally_monkey_must_die: Cheaters never win.

rfronk: Bill leaving the field before the game was over was the best thing I've seen all day.

Electriclectic: Underdogs everywhere rejoice at this one. I don't even like pro ball, and this was a great game.

RomeoJr: Dogs and cats I tell you. Best time I ever had cheering for NY.

/Only time I ever cheered for NY.

yvmnoc: And across America, the sound of a million wives getting backhanded rings out...

inconnu: On one hand, I am happy the underdogs won. But seeing the old Dolphins geezers crow about it and drink champagne, while their team went like 1-16 this year, is going to kill me.

I was cheering for the Giants, but I didn't really expect them to win. And since when is it the default for the winning QB to get the MVP award? Eli didn't lose this game, but he certainly wasn't the most valuable player out there: the Giants' defensive line deserved the award more than anyone else, and the Patriots' Wes Welker was also more valuable than either QB (although on the losing side, I admit).

It's perhaps unkind to link back to some comments from earlier in the season at Brett Singer's Mostly Giants blog:

- Fred Robbins with another sack. The pass rush is good, especially against sub-par teams.

- Wow, Jackson just took off for a 19-yard run there. The entire Giant D was nowhere to be found.

- This supposedly spectacular Giant defense is showing that they aren't really all that good. I mean, they're good, but they aren't a legendary shut-down group. As if to prove it, Strahan allows Tavaris Jackson to get away and run for another first down.

[. . .]

- So what do you do? Do you bench Eli? Of course not. Do you fire Coughlin? You should but they won't. They seem to like him. Here's an idea: start penalizing teams financially for losing. Is that why the owner's never seem to care that much? I mean, of course they care. But it never seems like they care as much as they could. Or should.

Amazing how you can call for benching the QB and firing the coach in week 12, and then be cheering them as Superbowl champions just a few months later, isn't it?

Update, 4 February: The five stages of Patriots grief.

Update, 5 February: Gregg Easterbrook sings the praises for the Giants' defensive front:

Television cameras focus on the quarterback and running backs, but 90 percent of football action occurs away from the ball. Tuesday Morning Quarterback has long contended that line play is a bigger determinant of football victory than "skill player" performance, and never was this on better display than in Super Bowl XLII. Jersey/A's front seven simply ate the lunch of the league's best offensive line. Michael Strahan, Fred Robbins, Barry Cofield, Osi Umenyiora, Reggie Torbor, Antonio Pierce and Kawika Mitchell as starters, Justin Tuck and Jay Alford off the bench — this group turned in one of the top performances in sports history. The Giants' defensive front recorded five sacks of Tom Brady, who had been sacked only 21 times during the regular season. Giants defenders also knocked Brady down hard five times — Brady went through entire games in the regular season without getting his jersey dirty — and forced him into several inaccurate throws when receivers were open, while holding New England to an anemic 45 yards rushing. In successive postseason contests, the Giants' front seven ate the lunch of the league's third-best offensive line (Dallas), then the second-best (Green Bay), and finally, in the Super Bowl, the best. What a performance! The Giants' front seven should, as a group, have been named MVP.

The proper sphere of government?

To borrow a phrase from Fark.com . . . having solved all the nation's problems, Congress turns its attention to the pressing issue of investigating professional baseball:

[. . .] we now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if you give a former Senate Majority Leader $2 million a month for more than a year and half, force clubhouse lackeys to testify under threat of $100,000 fine, and have federal prosecutors grant vastly reduced sentences to drug convicts in exchange for cooperating with Mitchell's private investigation, you can indeed produce circumstantial evidence that Nook Logan (career home runs: 2) and nearly four score others may have taken legal supplements without a prescription to help them recover more quickly after working out, many during a time when such supplements were perfectly acceptable according to Major League Baseball's own rules. And as a direct result, your teenage daughter might eventually face drug testing if she plays sports, once Congress goes through another thrilling round of reforming government.

In so many ways, this is a lovely example of why governments should be limited in the scope of what they can do . . .

QotD: College Football

In other college football news, 13 of the 121 Division I-A football coaches have been fired, forced out or resigned under pressure since turkeys were carved. This only seems like a purge because departures of Division I-A coaches are so rare. Eleven percent of Division I-A head football coaches have been shown the door in 2007; last year, 19 percent of NFL head coaching jobs turned over. The average of the past two decades has been roughly 20 percent annual head coach turnover in the NFL, versus about 5 percent in Division I-A.

As TMQ often reminds everyone, the football-factory schools in Division I-A hold such incredible advantages in recruiting, in cupcake-opponent scheduling and in playing more games at home than on the road that an orangutan could coach a Division I-A school to bowl eligibility. Almost every football-factory season ends in a bowl bid, and thus the typical football season outcome at a big school is officially characterized as a success. Two-thirds of NFL teams do not qualify for the postseason, and thus the typical season outcome in the pros is failure. That's why there are far more long-term coaching dynasties in college than in the NFL. It is simply easier to win games at a football-factory college than in the pros, meaning more college coaches with career winning records and longtime tenures.

Gregg Easterbrook, "TMQ: BCS Madness!", ESPN Page 2, 2007-12-03

Victory is Mine!

. . . well, sorta.

The team of which I was a part, won our club badminton tournament. Some might say in spite of, others might say in consequence of, my part in the tournament. I'd be less than human in hoping that the latter was more correct than the former. ;-)

Update, 2 December: Of course, the bill must be paid . . . I'm just barely able to move today, and I've got aches where I didn't even know I had muscles. It was a great tournament (and I'm not just saying that because my team won), but a full day of play is a lot more than I'm used to doing.

Because of an oddity in the schedule, my team played every other team (and one team we played twice), except Victor's team. The seeding system worked very well: all the games were competitive, with very few lopsided results. By the end of the day, as we were running short of time, the games were only played to 11 points, as the competing teams had to play four games in the match — womens' doubles, mens' doubles, and two mixed doubles games.

QotD: Soccer

You can put Beckham on the field. You can put Rinaldo on Beckham's shoulders. You can add nudity, stilts, a roving herd of robotic horses that shoot lasers from their eyes — in a sports-saturated age in which Americans have already set aside most weekends to watch hillbillies drive around in circles and the approximately 493 commercials featuring Peyton Manning for some reason, no one man nor team of men nor ambitious attempt at mass hypnosis will succeed in convincing America to watch a sport in which the most common expression is "nil-nil."

And for the love of Mike don't go telling them how popular soccer is in the rest of the world — that only alienates them further. Americans prefer profoundly American pursuits, like football and obesity.

Scott Feschuk, "Who is Your Vagina Wearing?", Macleans Blogs, 2007-10-17

QotD: Kids' soccer

I do wonder about these mixed leagues, though. The kids are at the age where the boys' aggressiveness is starting to assert itself, despite all efforts to the contrary; do we really want to teach them that it's fine to bash into girls? I have the feeling that if I raised an objection, however leisurely and off-handedly and amusedly and don't-think-I’m-like-Larry-Summers-or-anythingedly, it wouldn't be met well by all. The idea that boys will be stronger and more aggressive and should treat less strong, less physically aggressive people with restraint is oddly taboo. On one hand, I want my daughter to be able to give as good as she gets, and she's solid enough to hold her ground. But say she's a skinny-mini, one of those three-ounce kids, and gets knocked flat because Bruiser McLaddybuck barrels into her trying to get the ball. This we should applaud? It would be fine if Bruiser knocked over Master Simpy Milquewater, because he's a boy, and part of being a boy consists of getting dominated on the athletic field often enough as a child that you realize your future rests in academic or artistic pursuits, leading to a lifetime of sneering at the jocks and gnashing your teeth when the smartsy artsy girls go flouncing off with the broad-shoulder crowd. THERE IS NO GOD. But in the end, it all works out. Nature has its way. If I'm wrong, explain why pro football isn't co-ed.

I should note to newcomers that I was the fat kid who viewed gym as an endless session of torture and humiliation, so I side with Simpy.

James Lileks, The Bleat, 2007-09-26

Pirates finish out of the medals in playoffs

Yesterday's three games encapsulated the Pirates' entire season: a brutally hard-fought draw, a loss, and a bad loss. The first game was played in the chilly, windy conditions at 8:30 in the morning. Only 10 players showed up by the start of the game, so Whitby Silver had an extra player on the field, and three substitutes waiting on the bench. At the end of the first half, the Pirates were leading by 1, a very pretty goal scored by Nick M., direct from the corner.

During the second half, the Silver players were getting increasingly angry that the Pirates were able to hold them off, until they finally got the tying goal about five minutes from the end of the game.

The second game was played on the same field at 10:30. Again, the Pirates could only muster 10 players, and played at a disadvantage on the field. Whitby Teal jumped out to a three-goal lead by halftime, and added two more by the end of the game. The Pirates came close to scoring on several different attempts — Victor R. put on an amazing performance near the end of the game, but was thwarted by some incredible goalkeeping by the Teal goalie: three hard, accurate shots over less than two minutes, barely pushed past the post or the crossbar by athletic leaping.

The third game of the day was played in warmer, but windier conditions at Peel Park. Whitby Blue again had a significant advantage in numbers, fielding a full team plus four substitutes, while the Pirates still only had ten on the field. By this point, the Pirates were pretty much just running on fumes . . . there wasn't much left to give. The run of play was almost entirely in Pirates territory, with only a few opportunities to go upfield. The score was 5-0 at the half, with the Pirates looking shell-shocked on the bench. The Pirates put on a better display in the second half, with Anthony C. scoring from inside the 6-yard box, and Ian S. and Nick M. both coming close to scoring as well. The final score was 8-1, mathematically eliminating the Pirates from the tournament.

Sunday's scheduled 8:30 game didn't happen: the Pirates could only show five players on the field after the 15-minute grace period expired, so Whitby Green got a 1-0 win by default.

Pirates outmanned, outscored

I didn't mention last week's opening game of the playoffs, as our opponents were unable to field a team, so we took the game by default. Last night, the situation was nearly reversed: at scheduled kick-off, we only had eight players available while Whitby Red had almost twice that number ready to play. As the teams were lining up for the start, two more Pirates came running up to the field, so we only played with a one-man disadvantage.

During the first half, both teams had scoring chances, but only the Reds were able to put points on the board. At the half, the Pirates were down by three goals.

The second half was when the Reds' advantage in numbers started to show, as the Pirates only had a few opportunities to move the ball over the halfway line. Nick M. scored for the Pirates on a break-away, but that was all the attack the Pirates could muster. Final score, 4-1.

The rest of the playoff games will be held on Saturday and Sunday.

Pirates decimated by Legion

Last night capped off a weekend of sporting disappointments. This was the final regular-season game for the Pirates, a rescheduled game that can't be forgotten fast enough. Whitby Legion came loaded for bear, while the Pirates were barely able to field a team: only eight team members showed up, plus two call-up players who volunteered to join us (Joseph M. and Tyler R.).

The game started off with both teams managing to stage attacks, but Legion's advantage in numbers would soon start to tell. Legion's coach didn't play a full side, matching the Pirates' ten on the field, but substitution was the deciding factor as the game wore on. By half-time, the Pirates were looking ragged, having had several scoring chances but being unable to get the ball anywhere near the net. Whitby Legion didn't have the same problem: sitting atop a 4-0 lead.

Victor volunteered to go in net for the second half, allowing Nick M. to rove at centre-midfield. The Pirates again managed several deep attacks, but only one of them found the back of the net, while Legion kept up the pressure at the other end of the field. The game ended with a 7-1 score, Anthony C. being the lone scorer for the Pirates.

Pirates sunk, 10-2

Last night's game was (I hope) forgettable. We were already short-handed, with Ian S., Anthony C., Ben K., and Kory A. all unable to attend the game, and Brad H. serving the first of a two-game suspension for accumulated yellow cards. We were just barely able to field a minimum team at official kick-off time, but a few more players arrived as the referee was conducting the coin toss, so we started with 10 men available as the whistle blew. Cory R. arrived a few minutes after the game started, and I got him on at the first stoppage.

The first ten minutes went fairly well, as neither team was able to get into striking distance, with a lot of scrappy play near the centre of the field. After that, the advantage shifted steadily to Whitby Blue, who opened the scoring on 12 minutes with a short-range shot just inside the right post. Nick M. got a hand on it, but couldn't push it far enough to take it out of danger.

At the end of the first half, the Pirates faced a 4-0 score line. Nick moved out to centre-mid and captain Zaahir M. took his place in goal. The second half continued as the first half ended, with the Pirates unable to clear their lines and Whitby Blue pushing well up the field. At one point, the Whitby Blue defenders were only a few steps outside the Pirates 18-yard box!

Matt K. helped to rally the Pirates, getting on the end of a pass from call-up player Tyler R. and slamming it home. The score was 6-1, but the Pirates really did seem to wake up at that point, pushing up the field and making Whitby Blue defend frantically. The flurry ended with Kevin J. scoring to bring the Pirates briefly back within range, but after that it was all Whitby Blue.

Next week's game is a make-up for a rained-out game back in July, and after that it'll be the playoffs.

Pirates (half-) Team Photo

Less than half the team showed up for photo night. There are 10 players missing from the photo (Anthony C., Ben K., Brad H., Chris V., Jake H., Kevin J., Kory A., Mike H., Nick M., and Sean L.).

Pirates just miss out on upset

Last night's game was a nail-biter, going literally right to the final whistle. After going down 2-0 to Whitby Legion in the first half, the Pirates rallied to lead the game 4-3 in the final minute.

What kept the team going through the first half was excellent goalkeeping: Nick M. was the reason the Pirates were still able to mount any threat in the second half. He had a series of excellent saves and was critical to keeping the score in range.

Scoring in the second half opened for the Pirates with Anthony C., and then Kory A. put in the equalizer. The Pirates and Legion traded goals, with Nick M. scoring for the Pirates. The go-ahead goal was a lovely long-range strike from Brad H., from outside the 18-yard box. The last ten minutes of the game gave neither team a clean scoring chance, until just before the final whistle, when Legion were just able to punch in the tying goal. Pirates keeper Sean L. hadn't even pulled the ball out of the netting when the referee blew the final whistle. Legion players were celebrating as though they'd won a championship, and the Pirates were upset at missing out on the full three points.

The game was perhaps the toughest challenge the Pirates have faced this season, as the injury bug was out on the field. We started with a full team plus two substitutes, and ended the game with only nine healthy players: two players were hurt enough that they could not continue, and two others had to spend time on the bench recovering (Brad H. actually came off the bench after his own injury to replace another injured player, and was still able to score).

Pirates lose close game

Last night's game started in darkness and ended in frustration. It was a late-night game (9:00 pm scheduled kick-off), so we were playing under the lights at Rossland North field. About five minutes before kickoff, the power went down in our area, so the field was plunged into darkness. Power was not restored for about 20 minutes, so we were more than 15 minutes late kicking off.

The game started well for the Pirates, with Matt L. scoring from the left wing within five minutes. A rough tackle by Brad H. resulted in a yellow card, although what the referee said he'd done didn't match what we saw from the sideline, or what Brad thought had happened when he came off the field at halftime. There is no in-game appeal mechanism, so we just had to carry on.

Matt L. scored his second goal just after Whitby Silver had equalized, again coming in tight to the post from the left side. Both teams had multiple shots on net after this, but the first half ended with the Pirates holding on to a 2-1 lead.

The second half showed the Pirates drop in intensity for the first 10 minutes, allowing Whitby Silver to finally get the equalizing goal. Five minutes later, a dramatic collision just outside the Silver goal area resulted in two yellow cards being shown. Unfortunately, the Pirate player involved in the collision was Brad H., who was then shown the Red card and ejected from the game. The Pirates had to play the rest of the game with only 10 players allowed on the field.

In spite of the numerical disadvantage, Silver still had few good opportunities until five minutes before the end of the game, when they finally found an angle to beat Matt L. (who'd switched from goal-scoring to goal-tending for the second half) for the go-ahead score.

How not to rally

"Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!"

H/T to Craig Zeni.

Kiwi Anthem, 2007 World Cup style

Some people take Rugby more seriously than anything else.

The next big name in soccer?

This 9-year-old's soccer skills are flat-out amazing:

Rhain Davis Joins Manchester United - Click here for more amazing videos

I really felt sorry for the opponents he faced in these clips. How do you stop someone like that?

QotD: Major League Soccer

This week, MLS introduced international superstar David Beckham to its Los Angeles Galaxy franchise. Like Pele and a dozen guys whose names I can't remember before him, Beckham is the one-man show that's supposed to revolutionize what Americans think about the world's favorite game. This will never happen. When it comes to soccer, all PR is bad PR, because Americans just don't care about it. Even hockey had a better week than soccer, by simply keeping quiet and pretending it wasn't there.

As long as we have soccer in this country, football players could kill each other on the field; baseball players could jump in the stands, shooting needles in the butts of those in attendance; and basketball could just keep being basketball. None of these things are good things, but all of these things are better than soccer games ending in nothing-nothing ties.

Jonathan David Morris, "A Bad Week for Sports?", Libertarian Enterprise, 2007-07-29

Chilean team loses it

My assistant coach and his family were at the FIFA U-20 semi-final game last night between Chile and Argentina. The game went Argentina's way early, and the Chilean team lost the game, their composure, and their common sense, not necessarily in that order:

Two Chilean players were ejected during the loss. The game was an ill-tempered affair with nine yellow cards — seven to Chile and two to Argentina — in addition to the two red cards. German referee Wolfgang Stark called 53 fouls — 30 against Chile.

When the final whistle blew, several Chilean players tried to get at the officiating crew. Others stepped in to keep them away. Two police officers escorted the officiating crew off the pitch, but they stopped as they neared the tunnel, eyeing the angry crowd.

Eventually they made a run for it, dashing to the safety of the tunnel below the stands.

The Chilean soccer officials should be scrambling to apologize to FIFA, to the Argentines, the officials, and to the Canadian hosts.

In other soccer news, the Pirate finally chalked up a second win of the season, although in a not-very-proud fashion. Opponents Canadian Legion were just barely able to field a team, with only seven players. The Pirates were in the same boat, but had several players arrive after the game started.

The Pirates went up 1-0 in the early going, but within ten minutes were on the wrong side of a 3-1 tally. As the game started to get out of hand, we had to start taking advantage of our numbers . . . by the final whistle, 12 Pirates were playing or available for substitutions, but Canadian Legion still only had their starting seven. Numbers eventually told, with a final score of 10-5, but Canadian Legion never gave up . . . still fighting hard for scoring opportunities up to the final whistle.

Legion will get a chance for revenge on Monday night, as the schedule pits them against the Pirates in consecutive games.

Pirates defeated again

Another late-night game, another loss, another attempt to field too few players . . . this is getting to be a bad habit. Last night's game was hard-fought, but the Pirates again started a game with too few players (only 9 on the field this time) and our opponents had the full 11 on the field and another three substitutes on the sideline.

Matt K. arrived shortly after kick-off, giving us 10 players, and a hastily recruited younger brother, Joseph M., allowed us to get up to full-strength on the field just before the half. Of course, by that time we were down 2-0.

When the final whistle blew, we were on the wrong side of a 3-0 score, but it could easily have been much worse. Blake M. and Anthony C. did some excellent work in goal, and our guest player Joseph M. was doing very well against players three or four years older — and considerably bigger — than him.

Pirates run out of wind

Another late-night game last night, with a 9:00 kick-off, and another good effort in the first half not being matched in the second. The Pirates once again fielded the bare minimum number of players, with a late arrival at the end of the first half. The game was quite scrappy, with both teams showing the good and bad of their talents. The score was tied 3-3 at the half.

The second half did not go well, as Whitby Red's substitution advantage (four substitute players for Red, with only one for the Pirates) started to give them openings as the half wore on. Red went ahead about ten minutes into the half, and the Pirates couldn't claw back to even. Final score was 7-4, with Nick M., Brad H., Kevin J., and Matt L. scoring for the Pirates.

Next game, another late kick-off, on Monday night.

Parental rage at kid sporting events

I've coached soccer for several years, but I'm relieved that I never had one of the parents as bad as this one:

Here's your Little League Dad of the Moment. First he cusses out his own kid during the game just to grind down his son's self-esteem a bit, then he lets his anger at the coach boil in his chestal area for two days, after which he threatens the coach outside his home. According to charges, he phoned up the coach and said he'd shoot him "like a dog." Brilliant.

This story serves several important purposes:

1. Every year must have a crazed-sports-father case. This is the one for 2007. We keep waiting for a dad from a different sport, like curling, but it's always Little League, soccer, or hockey. Never interpretative dance. Never have a parent stand up and shout I'M NOT GETTING THE IMPRESSION OF A WOUNDED FAUN, YOU #*&*%(#$ LOSER! INTERPRET HARDER! HUSTLE! HUSTLE! No, it's always the popular sports that attract the guys with M-80 tempers

The worst case I encountered was with two mothers who hated one another so much that their kids weren't allowed to be on the field at the same time (the kids weren't the problem, it was definitely the mothers who had the issues). When I pointed out that I couldn't do that — there weren't enough players to allow me to orchestrate my rotation around their personal issues, one of the mothers pulled her kid from the team.

Pirates sunk 7-0

Last night's game was eminently forgettable: the Pirates just never got going. We started off the night short-handed, only able to field 10 players (Whitby Green had a full squad on the field plus four substitutes). Sometimes, being short-handed can help to rally a team . . . and it did, for the first 20 minutes of the match. After that, however, fatigue started to be a factor.

Our eleventh player showed up at about the 35 minute mark, with the twelfth just before the half. By that point, however, we were facing a 3-0 score.

We had scoring opportunities, but were both inaccurate and unlucky in equal proportions. Whitby Green didn't seem to suffer from the same problems, so that even if we'd managed to convert some of those chances, the final result wouldn't have been much different.

Pirates notch first win of season

Monday night was excellent hunting for the "Pirates": delivering a 9-2 drubbing to hapless Whitby Sky Blue.

The game opened with a quick goal by Kory A., and a second by Blake M. Sky Blue started to look competitive about 20 minutes into the game, when a short shot bounced awkwardly in front of Pirates keeper Matt L. and slid in just inside the post. The Pirates were upset by the goal, and took several minutes to rally and start moving back into Sky Blue territory. Cory R. got on the scoreboard from the left halfback position, and then Kory and Blake each added a second goal.

Scoring in the second half were Cory, Nicolas M., Blake (for the first hat-trick of the season for the Pirates), and Nicolas again.

Pirates fall 5-3 to Whitby Blue

Tonight's game wasn't easy . . . we'd built up a 2-0 lead in the first 20 minutes, but we were unable to keep Whitby Blue down. They managed three goals before the half, and we only just kept the score even. The second half wasn't any improvement . . . we kept pushing down into their goal area, but not converting any chances, while they took full advantage of the chances we gave them.

After last week's game being rained out, we're still looking for our first win of the season.

Next week will be even more challenging: we have games on both Monday and Thursday nights, and it's exam time, so several players have indicated they can't make one or both games.

Pirates lose close game

Well, it was a good effort, but the Pirates ended up on the wrong end of a 2-1 match last night. The score was tied at the half, both goals on penalties, and both penalties awarded for handball in the goal area.

Whitby Silver had a better passing game, so that they were better able to take advantage of the few opportunities that came along. We're still looking for our first win of the season, although a lack of practice is probably the reason for the low goal-scoring so far. I'm hoping to get a practice field assigned later this week.

"Pirates" fight to a 2-2 draw

Yesterday evening's game was very fast-paced, and our lack of pre-game training sessions showed in the early going. For the first ten minutes after the kick-off, we were desperately defending, not even advancing the ball out of our own end. Our opponents kept the pressure up until finally, almost as an anti-climax, the ball was stroked gently into the lower left corner of our net. Victor, playing keeper for the first half, was able to fend off the other efforts.

After the first substitutions (we have 19 players on the team, and have to equalize playing time, so unlike the pros, we substitute frequently), the team settled down and we started to push into enemy territory. Kory A., working feverishly down the right side, scored the equalizer at about the 25-minute mark.

The last ten minutes of the half were a mirror-image of the first ten minutes, as the Pirates generated plenty of pressure and Whitby Red was unable to clear the ball or move upfield. Kory A. added a second goal to move us into the lead. The score was 2-1 at the half.

During the second half, both teams had opportunities to score, and the ball possession was about equal. About the seventy minute mark, Whitby Red was able to draw level, putting the ball past Tom L. in the lower left corner of the net.

The last fifteen minutes were frustrating for the Pirates, as several goal-scoring chances were fended off, including four corner-kicks.

Overall, a great effort for a team that had never played together before. Matt L., Cory R., Ian S., Micheal H. and Nicolas M. all showed great composure and some very good moves throughout the game. The team decided to call themselves the "Pirates" on a suggestion by Matt L. (our uniform is black and red, no pirate flag or anything like that).

Happy Victoria Day!

Today being a holiday Monday, in token regard for our monarch's notional birthday, posting will be light.

Actually, my U16/U17/U18 soccer team will be kicking off in the first game of the season at 7:00, so there's a bare possibility of either a victory cheer or a losing gripe later in the evening. It would help if we'd had a chance to get some practice in, but the team lists were only distributed last week, and there are so many kids signed up for soccer in Whitby this year (over 6,000, in a town of just more than 100,000) that there are no practice fields available on weekday nights any more.

Soccer pre-season starts

Well, I'm off to pick up my team list and equipment for this summer's soccer season. I don't expect to be posting much until later today or tonight.

I'm just hoping that the luck of the draw has given me at least one goalkeeper! We can manage just about any other failing, but lack of a dedicated keeper is very tough to overcome. At times like this, I briefly envy the coaches of competitive teams, as they tend to be a bit spoiled for choice. Because I'm coaching house league, it's random chance who ends up on each team.

This is also the first time I've coached players in the upper age groups: we're a combined Under-16, Under-17, and Under-18 division this year, so I'll have players who are old enough to drive and have jobs playing for me. This may make scheduling practices a bit of a nightmare . . .

Update: Well, at least I don't have to spend half the night calling the members of the team . . . because they're adding at least one team to our division (lots of late applicants in our age group), so the team list I have now will be out of date by tomorrow. On the bright side, Victor is very happy with the team uniform. He immediately put on the jersey, once we got outside with our team equipment:

Boro's most recent signing

I have to assume that Middlesbrough's newest addition to the squad is well worth the signing fee, as he's being touted as the best thing since sliced bread. I somehow doubt that he'll be interested in playing in North America, after his time in the UK draws to a close . . . as you can see from the way his name is shown on the back of his jersey, it would just be an invitation for abuse:

QotD: Coaching in Professional Sports

A complex stew of cultural trends has made coaching more precarious than ever. A sports-mad population hooked on instant gratification, in which Donald Trump has transformed firing people into mass entertainment for the sensitivity-impaired, has turned up the heat on an already sizzling seat. Coaching has become a model of social Darwinism, in which only the strongest endure — and even they probably will hear the words "You're fired" at some point in their careers.

Rachel Blount, "Coaches: Caught in crosshairs", Star Tribune, 2007-02-12

Soccer rivalry meets body art

A sad example of unexpected consequences at the intersection of tattoo artistry and soccer fan rivalry:

A young Argentinian footie fan who decided to celebrate his love for Boca Juniors by having the team's logo tattooed on his back paid the price for not adequately researching the body artist's own allegiances.

The tattooist was, unknown to the unnamed teen, a follower of rival club River Plate, and accordingly substituted a penis for the Boca Juniors' crest.

Yesterday was a good soccer day

Both of my soccer teams did well . . . Middlesbrough put a severe beating on Bolton, while Victor's indoor team had an uncharacteristic easy win 8-2.

QotD: Conspiracy Theories

The explosion in conspiracy-theory thinking, in books and movies supposing there are secret agencies and master plans controlling our lives, spills over into sports in the sense that we want to believe Team A didn't win mainly because it's better than Team B, it won because someone was in control of the entire event. That someone has to be the coach. The phrase "everything happens for a reason" has taken on resonance in popular culture, and not only in religious circles. We don't want to believe luck and coincidence are major factors in our lives. We want to believe someone is in control.

Gregg Easterbrook, "Stop Obsessing Over Coaches!", Page 2: Tuesday Morning Quarterback, 2007-01-09

Sports Update, Tuesday edition

Victor's indoor soccer team had their hands full this evening, playing against one of the undefeated teams in the division. A final score of 5-5 does not come close to indicating just how tense and exciting this game was, especially with the opponents' last-second drive to the goal . . . a good result, but Victor's team lead through most of the second half, yet were still lucky to escape with a point for the draw: if even a quarter of the other team's shots on net were accurate, the score would have been significantly worse.

Weekend sports roundup

Middlesbrough had a winning outing against West Ham, netting the only goal of the match from Massimo Maccarone. Report from BBC Sport here. The Premiership have postponed a decision on whether Boro manager Gareth Southgate can continue in the job: the league has amended their rules, but not sufficiently that Southgate's case is guaranteed to succeed.

Minnesota fans are starting to feel that the season is effectively over, after yesterday's home loss to Green Bay:

Thunderous boos rained down at the end of the first half Sunday afternoon as the Vikings jogged into the locker room. And guess what? That had been their good half.

So it went for the Vikings in a sobering 23-17 loss to Green Bay, one in which their offense showed the briefest sign of life early on before collapsing amid a potent Packers pass rush. Losers of three consecutive games and under .500 for the first time this season, the Vikings are becoming a team worthy of boos even for its best efforts.

And, in the indoor soccer world, Victor's team doesn't play until tomorrow night, so no news on that front yet.

Monday sports update

Another inglorious weekend, I'm afraid. Victor was still suffering from a racking cough, so he had to skip his indoor soccer game on Saturday. At least, that's the official story. Oh, he was sick, no question about that, but the rest of the sentence implies that we knew he had a game on Saturday. Which we didn't. The schedule, because it encompasses a matrix of fourteen teams, playing on up to three separate nights per week, is an unreadable mess.

That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it.

Over in the old country, Middlesbrough put in a pathetic performance against Watford, handing them a 2-0 result and their first win in the top-flight since they were promoted. Just to be sure that Watford won, Boro went ahead and started the scoring on their own net . . . Details, should anyone be that masochistic, are here:

Watford suffered a blow when goalkeeper Ben Foster was forced out due to a knee problem, with Richard Lee stepping in for the in-form stopper.

But Boro's attacking efforts were so lacklustre that the home side could have probably played without a keeper in the first half and still managed to extend their run without conceding.

A third clean sheet on the trot means they have now gone 293 minutes without letting in a goal in the league.

Watford's forward line hardly set the place alight, but fortunately Middlesbrough's defence were there to offer them a helping hand.

In the sixth minute Woodgate failed to properly clear Gavin Mahon's throw and when the Boro defender stuck out his leg to try and block Bouazza's shot he deflected it past Schwarzer's despairing dive.

Meanwhile, having stunk up the Metrodome last Monday against the Patriots, the Minnesota Vikings have now managed make the hapless San Francisco 49ers look like a serious football team. This was a game I'm happy not to have had to watch:

The Vikings had the 49ers overmatched on paper but once again could not assemble a competent performance on offense, committing three turnovers and going scoreless after Ryan Longwell capped their opening drive with a 21-yard field goal.

San Francisco's moribund defense was allowing 33.6 points per game this season and hadn't held a team without a touchdown since the final game of 2001. But Sunday's affair was the Vikings' fourth game this season without an offensive touchdown, a feat so second nature that — like Williamson — the Vikings seemed dazed and not entirely convinced they are good enough to win on Sundays.

"We've just got to come together on this," said receiver Travis Taylor, whose illegal block in the third quarter nullified Chester Taylor's 65-yard touchdown reception. "It's like we need to get some fight and some dog in us, to get a little emotion. We have to want to get better. I think we're lacking a little in emotion right now."

Monday: bad sports day

This week's sports report can at least start on a high note: Victor's team won a very hard-fought indoor soccer match 5-4, with Victor scoring one goal. That was all the good news for the teams I support. The other results were less good: both Middlesbrough and Minnesota went down in games yesterday (oddly enough, I saw almost exactly half of each game).

Middlesbrough, playing at Manchester City, had a very sloppy first half (the half I did get to see), with far too many missed passes and what appeared to be an almost Italian national team level of injury (every five minutes, there seemed to be another Boro player down on the turf). Boro were handing out corner kicks like Halloween candies, and eventually City made them pay the price, going up 1-0 directly from a corner. The BBC match report is here.

Meanwhile, back in Minnesota, the Vikings were stinking up the Metrodome. I got home to find them down 10-0 near the end of the first half. Minnesota has the best rushing defence in the league right now, so you'd expect that teams would try to throw on them instead. Apparently that strategy never occurred to the Vikings coaching staff . . . because Patriot QB Tom Brady's relentless passing seemed to take them completely by surprise.

While the Vikings defence was being schooled in passing, the Vikings offence was doing everything they could to keep the ball in Brady's hands: Brad Johnson threw a season high three picks, and backup QB Brooks Bollinger added another. Bollinger had a tough entry to the game . . . he was sacked on three consecutive snaps, losing 20 yards.

About the only bright spot in the entire game for the Vikings was Mewelde Moore. He returned a punt 71 yards for Minnesota's only touchdown, and did some excellent work in the second half, including four receptions for 91 yards and one nice long run that was nullified by a penalty back at the line of scrimmage. The rest of the grim reading (unless you're a Patriots fan) is here.

Miscellaneous sporting results

First, Middlesbrough finally managed to win back-to-back games in the Premiership, winning against Newcastle in the Tyne-Tees derby. It was only a 1-0 final line, but Boro have been needing something to get them back on the winning track . . . they're sitting in the middle of the pack, standings-wise, with only 11 points from nine games played.

Then, Minnesota had a great result visiting Seattle, beating the Seahawks by a score of 31-13. The upset was helped along substantially by a knee injury to Matt Hasselbeck, Seattle's starting quarterback. Chester Taylor had his best day as a Viking, including a 95-yard run, breaking a team record. The loss broke Seattle's streak of a dozen games undefeated at home.

Finally, Victor's team opened their indoor soccer season with an unfortunate loss, 9-7, but Victor himself did well, scoring one goal and nullifying the best player on the opposing side. Victor and Cody were on the same team the previous two years, so Victor has had plenty of opportunity to study Cody's moves and try to figure out how to stop him.

Waiting for "the Turk"

I don't blog about my employer, for both obvious and obscure reasons. This past few weeks have been fraught: my company has been taken over by a competitor, and there's much fear and loathing in the halls as we adapt to our new reality. We are all, to one extent or another, waiting for the Turk to call:

For a two-week period each year in late summer, NFL players, who generally are a resilient and tough-minded group, are reduced to bundles of insecurity and nervousness while waiting to hear if their names make the final roster.

It's cut down time in the NFL. Time for the Turk.

Who is this Turk? He is the individual assigned by the organization to go to a player's room, knock on his door and utter those dreaded words: "The coach wants to see you — and bring your playbook." In short, the Turk is the NFL version of the Grim Reaper.

QotD: The Bengals

Now here's an intriguing team. They can run the ball, throw the ball, stop the run, create turnovers and make plays on special teams. They're a five-tool team. So what can't they do? Other than stay out of trouble?

Anyway, if the Patriots don't have what it takes this winter for a fourth Super Bowl appearance, I'm pulling hard for Cincy to make it to Miami. And why? Because the Bengals would be out in Miami for two weeks!!!! Hide the women, hide the children, hide the Maxim models . . . here come the Bengals! That would be the single greatest week in ESPN history. ESPN should station Ed Werder and Shelley Smith 24/7 outside the Miami Dade County courthouse right now just to be safe. Seriously, what would feature more arrests, Super Bowl week with the Bengals or Season 1 of "Miami Vice?" I'm 18 levels beyond giddy about this.

Bill Simmons, "Strength in numbers", ESPN.com, 2006-09-30

Predictions for the NFL season

Gregg Easterbrook has a few handicapping hints for football fans:

Now, for my off-price generic forecasts. First, I predict that every NFL team will end the 2006 season with the same record as it did in 2005. Obviously this won't be right, but will it be closer than the countless pseudo-scientific forecasts floating around? I bet if you analyzed the last, say, 20 years, endlessly predicting every team would finish with the same record as the previous season would do you better than actually thinking about your prediction.

Next, let me issue a generic final score prediction: Home Team 20, Visiting Team 17. This score happened four times in 2005, representing the most common generic outcome. I predict Home Team 20, Visiting Team 17 will happen more than any other outcome in 2006. This forecasting formula has the virtue that you don't need incredible insider information — or even need to know who's playing.

Next let me offer my off-price ultra-generic private-label prediction: Home Team Wins. The home team won 59 percent of the time in 2005. Many paid professional football pundits, gentlemen who yak about the NFL for a living, barely bested 59 percent in their 2005 picks: Jay Novacek of MSNBC came in at 63 percent, for instance. Simply pick the home team in every contest and you are likely to be right about six times out of 10. I'll offer Home Team Wins even though, so far this season, the home team is just 17-15. The Law of Large Numbers says this effect will wash out and the home team will assert itself as the season progresses.

ESPN's MNF package

Gregg Easterbrook points out the financial genius of ESPN:

Now think about the amount the typical NFL player will earn this year just from ESPN. Ready? An average of $550,000 per player. That's the amount ESPN is putting in the average NFL player's purse for the 2006 season, and for seasons to come. From ESPN directly to you, dear NFL player: $550,000. The sum works out to $32,000 per Monday Night Football game. If you are an NFL player, every time you tune in Monday Night Football this season, bear in mind ESPN is sending you $32,000 worth of thanks. The next-highest rights fee on the landscape works out to about $12,000 from CBS to each NFL player for each game the Columbia Broadcasting System airs. So guys, ESPN is being almost three times as nice to you and your families as CBS! Remember this when interview requests come in.

While on the topic of ESPN, here's Dr. Z on the quality of ESPN's backup football announcers:

What makes a great team, at least in my eyes? Accuracy, color, insightful analysis. And that described the ESPN backup team. They all respected the game. You were told at all times what was going on. And some of the observations were stunning. I'll give you one example.

Aaron Brooks misfired on a pass to Alvis Whitted. We were then presented with a replay of Randy Moss, shockingly open, it would seem, waving his hands at his quarterback in disgust because he had been ignored. Practically every analyst I've heard would have said, "Look how open Moss was," and let it go at that. But Jaworski is not every analyst. He's the best.

What he pointed out was that the ball already had been thrown to the other receiver, and then the cornerback, Quentin Jammer, broke off his coverage on Moss. That wasn't apparent on the screen, but Jaworski caught it. Moss' gesture was the ultimate cheap shot, designed only to embarrass his QB, and Jaws, as well as Vermeil, didn't let him get away with it. They gave him a good rip.

This, folks, is what is known as analysis. They were like that all night, and Nessler was damn good too. The ultimate professional.

To fall just short of fame . . .

Today was the second half of the soccer playoffs . . . and a totally different team showed up today. After the disappointments of yesterday's losses, our team started strong and stayed strong through both games. In the early morning game (8:30 a.m. start time), we jumped out to a 3-0 lead, fighting off a strong challenge late in the game, to hold on to a 4-2 final score.

The second game was an even tougher challenge, where it took nearly 10 minutes for us to open the scoring, which was quickly evened up by our opponents. We went to the break at the half tied at 1-1. The second half was another struggle before we were able to break the tie and move into the lead again. Scoring the insurance goal was Aaron, who spent much of the second half of the game cutting through our opponents' back line, only to be smothered by good goalkeeping. Arman, our very reluctant goalkeeper did a great job of defending the goal and stopped several dangerous shots.

The final score in the second game was 3-2 in our favour. All we needed to advance to the final was for the game being played on the field beside us to finish with an as-yet unbeaten team winning . . . and they were upset by an underdog. It went down to tiebreakers: three teams had equal records, so it went to the goals scored/goals against differential . . . and we were one goal short. The team we'd just beaten had a better goal differential, so they advanced and we were eliminated.

Some photos in the extended entry below. (Photos are not in sequential order, and cover both games.)

Victor demonstrates the rare combination of soccer and highland dancing, while Ryan tries to avoid becoming an accidental casualty.	John scrambles to defend our goal against an attacker. (Also in view, facing away from the camera are Nathan and Cole.)
Tom, running stride-for-stride with a taller opponent.	Jake jumps up for a header towards Ryan (number 5).
Aaron, about to score his first goal of the game. The keeper stopped the first shot, but was unable to keep control of the ball, allowing Aaron to get a second shot on net.	Aaron charges towards the goal on a breakaway. He continued to run left, drawing the keeper too far toward the post, then shooting across the face of the goal and just catching the inside of the far post. This would be the game-winner.
Victor, about to hammer the ball, watched by a fearful defender, René, and Arman.	René is about to take the shot which scored in the lower left corner of the net.
Aaron, Ben, Nathan, and Cole, during the break between the first and second games.	Ian is in the perfect position to save this shot which went between Ryan and Victor.
Ben, fighting for possession of the ball, late in the second half.	Arman, saving the final shot on net to preserve the win.

All photos courtesy of Liam McKenna, using my Pentax *ist DL with a 70-200 Zoom lens and a 2x converter.

Rough day in the playoffs

After losing the preliminary game to a team that finished just one spot above us in the final regular season standings on Tuesday night, today was the first half of the round-robin playoffs. Our first game was against the statistically weakest team in the division (they ended up in 10th place during the regular season, while we were sixth).

Something was working very well for them, as they recovered from an early deficit to win the game 7-6. Victor, René, Tom, Ian, Jake, and Ben all scored — spreading the wealth around pretty evenly, but we still came up a bit short at the end of the game.

The second game looked much better matched, as we moved into a 2-1 lead by half-time. The roof caved in during the second half, as we allowed four un-answered goals by full time. The injury bug bit us badly, as four players missed some or all of the game with sprains, bruises, and strains.

Our chances of making the consolation final are almost nil, but we still have two more games to play tomorrow morning, so we'll have to do our best, but even two wins won't be enough to reserve us a place in the final game.

Another nice result

Victor's team put on a great performance last night, defeating the opposing team by the convincing score of 8-1. René had his first hat trick of the season, Victor and Jake each got two goals, and Jarrett scored the other. Jarrett and Chris each played keeper for half the game, with Jarrett in particular doing a fine job.

This was the final regular-season game, with the playoffs scheduled to start in early September. I'd say that the team has chosen a good time to peak: our combined score in the last two games has been an astronomical 20-2 — against teams that each won by a single goal in our first meetings.

Belated team photo below the fold:

Absent from photo: Aaron, Arman, Jake, and Coach Rob.

Another nice game, with a good result

Victor's soccer team played their second-last regular season game last night, in what can best be described as an "Irish drizzle". I was late getting out of work, so Victor had to meet me on the front porch, with the equipment bag ready, and even so we only made it to the field a minute or two before the kick-off.

Our opponents were the team with whom we've been sharing a practice field all season long. They had a very low turn-out of players and only fielded seven to start the game (the minimum number for the game to be played). We put eight players out at first, then pulled Ryan off the field after counting our opponents. As players for the other team started to show up during the first half, we put more on from our substitution roster.

We went up by a goal inside a minute of play, and the vast majority of the action during the first half was inside the opposing team's 18-yard box. Not only did we have an advantage in numbers, but also in size: it seemed that all of our bigger players were out to face all our opponent's smallest players. Several passers-by asked if we were playing a team in our own age-group (the clear implication being that we were "picking on" a younger team).

After twenty minutes, we were sitting on a four-goal lead, and Tom (our goalkeeper) was loudly complaining that he was bored . . . there had only been two attacks and only one got far enough to kick at goal.

At one point, Victor took the ball just past the half, dribbled down the right side, beating three defenders in sequence, then made a sharp left turn, pushed the ball directly across the goal-mouth and chipped-in a lovely left-footed goal. It threaded the needle between two opponents and passed just out of reach of the keeper. It was one of the finest goals I've seen all season long (it was also his first non-penalty goal).

Victor added two more goals during the game to claim his first hat trick, and both of them required him to create his own scoring opportunity by working down the side-line and protecting the ball. He had a very good game indeed!

Victor's three goals were surpassed by Jake's four, and the final score was 12-1 (the one goal being scored by the older brother of one of the players wearing a borrowed team jersey, and technically shouldn't have counted).

How to avoid an awkward question, Sports edition

Paul "Dr. Z." Zimmerman being interviewed about the latest Football Hall of Famers:

SI.com: Were you surprised that Warren Moon was elected?

Dr. Z: Last year at the Super Bowl, Moon was out there doing radio or TV work, I can't remember which, for some station in Seattle. We started talking about the Hall of Fame. He was too polite to ask me what his chances were, but I brought it up and told him he had a hell of a good chance. He didn't think so. He thought the field was too strong. I told him, "You have a good shot because everybody liked you. You never stiffed anybody and you were always friendly and cooperative. I don't want to take anything away from your qualifications as a player, but those selectors in there are also writers and they have long memories. Their memories of you are all good ones." I hope I made him feel better.

SI.com: Was race ever brought up in the Warren Moon debate?

Dr. Z: It's been a long time since he ran track. And I don't know what race Moon really ran, the 100, 220, 400?

SI.com: How about ethnicity?

Dr. Z: I never discuss terms I can't spell.

A great game, too bad about the result

Victor's soccer team had a rescheduled game to play last night. We don't normally play late evening games, so this was a new experience for both players and coaches. Playing under the bright lights adds a new dimension to the game.

Our opponents were tied for the division lead, with only one loss and one tie, but were missing some of their players (they fielded 12, while we had 14, giving us the advantage on substitutions). Victor had a prior commitment, so he didn't arrive at the field until part-way through the first half.

We went down 2-0 early, due to a fluke bounce on a corner kick and a missed offside call by the referee. The first ten minutes or so were all spent deep in our own end, with too much pressure to allow any offensive action to develop. After the harrowing start, our team settled in and started taking the initiative. The first half ended at a 4-3 mark, with two of our goals scored by Chris, who has rarely been able to play striker (he'll be playing striker more often, now that we know he's got the chops for it).

The second half was a mirror image of the first, with our team providing most of the pressure and our opponents back on their heels. We moved into the lead about ten minutes into the second half, and kept the pressure on. With only five minutes left in the game, we held a 7-6 lead.

Luck turned against us during the last few minutes, with both the tying goal and the winning goal scored from offside, but the referee didn't recognize the foul, so both goals stood. (To be fair, at least one of our goals had been scored from offside as well, so I don't have as strong a case for complaint.)

In spite of the disappointing final score, it was a great game with some excellent individual performances by several players.

QotD: Soccer

If you want a sport where the best team always wins, I don't know where to direct you. Part of the beauty of soccer, and one of the life lessons it contains and that we should emphasize for our kids, is that even when you're outmatched you can still win if you keep your wits about you, keep working hard, keep your eye out for the smallest oportunities, and don't lose faith that it can happen. Few other sports teach us that as well as soccer does, and it translates very effectively into life.

Patrick Van de Wille, posted to the Soccer Coach mailing list, 2006-07-11

BTDT, got the leg sprains

Neptunus Lex tries to recapture the swash and buckle of youth:

Three weeks ago I went back to my collegiate roots, found a local fencing club, hit the piste.

Starting to, you know: Regret it.

Turns out that a couple three generations of younger fencers have come up since last I was at the nationals. Some of them quite good. Some of them right here in Sandy Eggo. And the first week I was reminded of leg muscles that you don't use for anything else, except for fencing. Vividly reminded. And then last week I got back spasms trying to keep from falling after 25-year old synapses wrote a check 45-year old legs are apparently unable to cash. That was with me all week.

I didn't go back to Olympic-style fencing, but I did take up Renaissance-style rapier-and-dagger fencing. Also for the record: those leg muscles you forget about for modern fencing act exactly the same way even if you're all pouffed up with a doublet and codpiece.

Hat tip to The Armorer.

Zizou's last hit

Put your head into it.

Hat tip to Hit and Run.

The inevitable eBay auction

After England's ignominious exit from the World Cup at the hands of Portugal, this was probably inevitable:

As any true Englishman knows, our national football team's traditional crash-and-burn in the World Cup is never as a result of our own shortcomings.

Previous top quality excuses have involved excess heat, unexpectedly low atmospheric pressure, the wrong kind of grass on the pitch, players' concerns over the political situation in East Timor, etc, etc.

Mercifully, though, the 2006 debacle can be attributed to just one cause: "cheating goofy england hating portugezer" Cristiano Ronaldo whose shameful protestations at Wayne Rooney's treatment of Ricardo Carvalho led to the normally even-tempered Liverpudlian's expulsion from the match.

Just in case it's not clear enough . . . you can look up the meaning of irony if you need to.

Soccer stadium to be built in Toronto

The federal government has confirmed the previous Liberal government's commitment of $27 million towards a new soccer stadium in Toronto:

Finance Minister Jim Flaherty caught soccer fever Tuesday, formalizing the government's share of building a stadium to house Canada's first Major League Soccer franchise.

He said the federal government will kick in up to $27 million, as promised last fall, for the construction of the open-air venue, located on the city's waterfront. The $62.9 million facility is due to be completed on May 1, 2007. The timing of the financial agreement coincides with the FIFA World Cup underway in Germany.

Flaherty said he hopes Canada will be able to compete in the next tournament, taking place in South Africa in 2010.

Canada is currently ranked 83rd in the world.

As a soccer fan, I'm happy that Toronto is going to be getting a major league soccer team. As a taxpayer, however, I'm much less happy: the three levels of government should no more be putting up money for a soccer stadium than they should be paying for any other kind of private enterprise. If there's enough fan support for a team, then there'd be enough private funding to build the stadium. If it can only be done by forcing non-soccer-supporting taxpayers to contribute part of their taxes to the deal, then it shouldn't.

This is no more than corporate welfare for sports teams. Since all three levels of government are involved, all Canadians are paying — even if the total amount is relative peanuts — for something to benefit Toronto's soccer fan community and especially the owners of the new team. How is this fair, equitable, or just?

QotD: Soccer

Increasing the [soccer] goal size even fractionally would increase scoring and open up the game. 6 inches to a foot in each direction would vastly increase the scoring and I think that would be fun for everyone except the keepers, and as a former keeper I realize that you have to be close to criminally insane to play in the goal anyway so who will care what they think?

Tim Hiddemen, posting to the Soccer-Coach-L mailing list, 2006-06-28

QotD: Argentina versus Germany

German onlookers revelled in England's travails, chanting "Deutschland" and "Lukas Podolski", the striker whose two goals had propelled the hosts into a quarter-final with Argentina, a game bound to confuse English viewers over who to support. Perhaps the ref.

"Bumbling progress continues for England", Sydney Morning Herald, 2006-06-27

World Cup Predictions, updated

Let's see how my predictions are coming off, through the final round-robin games:

Data from the FIFA World Cup page.

Owen out with ACL tear

Michael Owen's injury in the first few minutes of yesterday's game with Sweden is a tear to the right anterior cruciate ligament; he'll be out for several months. He's had a bad time with injuries lately:

Owen said he was "clearly sorry" to leave Germany, but was convinced England would be a success.

"I'll be following all the matches very closely and giving them my full support, hopefully all the way to Berlin," he said. "My main objective is now to get fit as quickly as possible for Newcastle United."

The 26-year-old Owen, who broke a bone in his right foot on Dec. 31, only returned last month. He had been replaced in both of England's World Cup games before Tuesday.

"Michael has had terrible luck with injuries since Christmas," England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson said. "I feel very sorry for him to miss out on the rest of the World Cup — it's a blow to him and a big loss for the team.

England is looking a bit light on strikers now, having only brought four to begin with. Crouch has been somewhat disappointing in his appearances so far, and Rooney is still recovering from injury. The remaining player is Theo Walcott, who is both very young and has not had much playing experience at the top level. This might be a great opportunity for him to grow into the role, or it might overwhelm him. Obviously, I'm hoping he'll be able to do the job and become a quality striker at the international level!

England 2, Sweden 2

Both teams advance to the knockout round.

England finally got a result against Sweden it can live with.

No, not a win — that has been too much to ask for. A 2-2 tie Tuesday, however, was enough for the English to win Group B at the World Cup.

Henrik Larsson tied it off a throw-in, getting the slightest touch to deflect the ball into the net in the 90th minute. England hasn't beaten the Swedes since way back in 1968 — seven years before David Beckham was born — a streak of frustration that is now at 12 games.

But the tie means Sweden has to face three-time champion and World Cup host Germany in Munich in the second round Saturday.

"We won the group and that's what counts," England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson said. [. . .]

England plays Ecuador on Sunday in Stuttgart. But it might have to do it without striker Michael Owen, who left in the fourth minute with a nasty-looking injury to his right knee.

England squeaks into round of 16

England's squad of sick, arthritic nuns put on a weak performance against Trinidad and Tobago today. At times, I wondered if these guys were actually the team on the field:

The first half (which I watched at lunchtime in a local restaurant . . . beside a loud and enthusiastic table full of T&T fans) featured some terrible finishing by England's forwards. T&T had a couple of really good chances and England was very lucky that they didn't go into the break trailing by two.

The second half featured goals by Crouch and Gerrard, giving England a 2-0 finish and automatic advance into the round of 16. There's a match report on the FIFA website here.

QotD: Rugby

Coming from Tasmania, where very little rugby union is played, I know very little about the code. I am sure they have rules, I just can't work out what they are.

Their positions are foreign to me. Who would let their young son play a game which has a player position called a Hooker? Rugby also has players called Props, which aren't airplanes. It has Scrumhalves which, presumably were Scrumwholes until they were chewed up by the Props. It has Outside Centres and Inside Centres. Clearly, no one of authority has ever pointed out that centre means right smack in the middle and it's not possible to have two of them. Then there are Weak Side Wingers and Strong Side Wingers. How discriminatory is that? What lesson does it send to kids? Superman probably plays on one side and Clark Kent plays on the other.

John Martin, "No son of mine is going to play with Hookers", Dunno, 2001-06-18

Soccer, local edition

Victor's latest nightmare ended well: he played the first half of last night's game as goalkeeper, and the world didn't end. To be more precise, although he did get scored on, only one was remotely his fault, unlike the last time a coach was foolhardy enough to hand him the keeper jersey, where we had to reach for scientific notation to record the score. Victor credited Ian, the team's sweeper, for making him look much better in net than he really was (although Ian had the same thing happen to him that Paraguay's team suffered in the game against England . . . a misdirected header for an own-goal).

In the second half, Victor scored on a penalty shot, which certainly made up for some of the agony of the first half. Final score, 3-2 for the opposition, but it was a very well-matched game and could easily have gone either way (Victor's team got in lots of shots, but couldn't get the aim quite right).

Supporting the old home team

I only got to watch just over half of the England-Paraguay game on Saturday, and other things kept me busy yesterday, but at least I'm showing my support:

Update: Of course, not everyone feels the same way:

And the lead up to a major tournament like the World Cup is so ridiculous. Rather than declaring themselves to be chavs by wearing a backwards Burberry baseball cap plus three gold chains and an iPod shuffle outside their shirts as they would in normal circumstances, people declare themselves to be chavs by attaching four England flags to the outside of their cars. It is really awful. The newspapers are full of nothing but the tournament. Conversation is about nothing else. The pubs become full of rowdy people who get aggressive when England (inevitably) lose. I just want to sit outside and drink my pint in the sun, but I cannot.

The most I can hope is that it will be over fast. For that reason I hope that England loses every game 10-0, in order that they are eliminated as quickly as possible and my summer can get back to normal. For the sake of God Almighty do not let England win the stupid tournament. The prospect of them being obnoxious about it for the next 40 years is so horrible that I would have to leave the country. If Sven-Goran Ericsson could also conclude his career as England manager by getting into a bizarre sex scandal with Wayne Rooney, that would be an added bonus. While on that, I would also like to see the Italians eliminated quickly, and hopefully in some really embarassing fashion. When they were elimiated by South Korea in the 2002 tournament they went on to demonstrate that they were the worst losers in all of human history, and I would like to see this again.

World Cup TV schedule

Rogers has a page showing the TV schedule for World Cup games for their viewing area. For non-soccer fans with fans in the household, this is going to be a very long month.

They've also posted a link on their portal to a fan's World Cup blog.

Update: Jon sent me a link to this fascinating religious viewpoint that watching the World Cup will count against you with Allah:

I am saying to the fathers, to the mothers, and to the people who watch these games: On Judgment Day, a page in the book will be opened for you, and it will say that you sat and watched the games. Will this make you happy or miserable? Will this make you happy on Judgment Day, when you face Allah, or will you wish you had never watched these games?

World Cup a good time for religious opportunism

I guess the churches are desperate enough to try anything to get more people to attend services:

World Cup visitors can pray for divine intervention if their team is losing in special half-time religious services.

Two Berlin churches, the Berlin Cathedral and the Kaiser-Wilhelm Memorial Church, will be holding 15-minute half-time services throughout the tournament.

The services will feature football related sermons and hymns that resemble team anthems allowing worshippers of the World Cup to pray for victory.

Of course, there are some teams who will need a full-blown miracle or two, not just the odd afterthought of prayer to advance in this tournament.

My World Cup predictions

I have almost no skill at predicting the outcome of sporting events, but especially something like the World Cup, where I know so little about most of the teams. Still, here goes nothing . . .

Group A consists of Poland (April Ranking: 29), Germany (19), Costa Rica (26), and Ecuador (39). Germany has to be the favorite to advance out of this group. Costa Rica is the next-best-ranked team, so (see above about knowing little about most of the teams) I assume they'll be the second to move into the next round.

Group B is England (10), Paraguay (33), Trinidad and Tobago (47), and Sweden (16). If England fail to advance through the first round, expect the government to fall the next day. Sweden has a very good team . . . and they've had England's number for the last few meetings between the teams, so I'd imagine they'll be the second team to advance from Group B.

Group C has Argentina (9), Côte d'Ivoire (32), Serbia and Montenegro (44), and the Netherlands (3). In this group, you have to go with the rankings: Netherlands first, Argentina second.

Group D has Mexico (4), Iran (23), Angola (57), and Portugal (7). Another group draw with obvious advancers (barring major upsets) of Mexico and Portugal.

Group E has Italy (13), Ghana (48), the United States (5T), and the Czech Republic (2). Let's all feel sorry for Ghana's luck of the draw in this group, shall we? On paper, they look to be already out of the tournament. The other three teams each have strong chances . . . anyone got a three-sided coin? I'll go with the safe picks of the Yanks and the Czechs.

Group F has Brazil (1), Croatia (23), Australia (42), and Japan (18). The top-ranked team in the world had better win through this round, but what little I've read leads me to expect Croatia to be the other team to advance from here.

Group G has France (8), Switzerland (35), Korea (29), and Togo (61). France obvious has to be favoured to move up, with Switzerland and Korea scrapping for the second spot. Togo is probably just happy to be here.

Group H has Spain (5T), Ukraine (45), Tunisia (21), and Saudi Arabia (34). Spain would have to do terribly badly not to advance out of this group — but there's a reason the games are played. The real race here is to be the second team to advance. Tunisia has a better ranking, but there's much less difference between them and the Saudi team, so it's not automatic for them.

Gareth Southgate appointed new Boro manager

Middlesbrough FC have announced that Gareth Southgate will be the new manager, replacing Steve McClaren. This is a bit controversial, as Southgate does not (yet) have the necessary paperwork:

Southgate, who won 57 caps for England, joined Boro from Aston Villa in a £6.5m deal in summer 2001, and has made more than 200 appearances for the club.

The 35-year-old defender has been given the job despite not possessing the relevant Uefa coaching qualifications.

Club chairman Steve Gibson said: "We have fast-tracked Gareth because we let our previous manager, Steve McClaren, become the new England coach."

However, Boro have until 12 weeks after the league season kicks off on 19 August to explain why Southgate should be permitted to manage without the required Uefa Pro Licence, the BBC understands.

If they are unable to make a case that is satisfactory to the Premier League, the Football Association and the League Managers' Association action could be taken against them.

Soccer update

Unlike in previous years, where I had a small private blog for reporting on local soccer events (specifically the games Victor played in and/or I was coaching), I haven't been taking up blogspace for such things this season. I'm only an assistant coach this year, and I no longer handle the team paperwork or substitutions, so I don't get the same sense of the ebb and flow of the game . . . I'm really just a glorified spectator.

Our team of 14- and 15-year-olds has a record of 1-1-1 so far, with last night's game (a 6-6 draw) being the most exciting of the lot so far. Victor had a very good game personally: he spent most of the game defending against our opponents' top striker, Nick, so he didn't get any chances to score goals himself. The stars for our team were René, Ian, and Ryan, although the top scorer for our side was Tom, who recorded his first hat-trick of the season.

The game started terribly for our boys, as we were down 3-0 inside the first ten minutes of play. Unlike our win last week, we didn't seem to be able to pass the ball successfully and didn't even get the ball into the other team's half until after going down by 2. I sure hope that we don't need to be climbing a three-goal hill to get the team's collective adrenalin flowing in future!

Nobody on the team is fond of playing goalkeeper, so the duties are rotated with each player in net for a half during the regular season. This is a problem: the keeper is a critical part of the team and we don't establish any kind of consistency with a different keeper for each 45-minute half. Victor has volunteered to be keeper for a half in next week's game . . . which could be traumatic. The last time Victor was in goal, he let in an incredibly high number of shots (to be fair, not all were his fault, but he's really not a natural keeper). There's a short keeper clinic being held by the club this weekend, so I hope Victor manages to take some good experience from that.

Free World Cup highlights

FIFA's website will provide free 2-minute highlights for all games in the upcoming World Cup:

A two-minute video of every match at the June 9-July 9 tournament will be available within an hour of the final whistle at www.fifaworldcup.com.

Fans will also be able to follow the action on their mobile phones, either by downloading software from the website or by signing up for SMS alerts.

"No matter where you are in the world you will be able to follow the action before, during and after matches," said Jerome Valcke, FIFA's marketing and television chief, on Tuesday.

That's very cool.

No miracle for Boro

After a whirlwind lead-up, let down on the field: Sevilla 4 Middlesbrough 0. No joy in Boro town tonight.

The brutal details.

Mark Clemmit looks back at 20 years of Boro history

Mark Clemmit looks back to the death-and-birth of Middlesbrough FC:

When I think back to 20 years ago and the final game of the season — a 2-1 defeat by Shrewsbury — that sent us down to what is now League One and into liquidation, I never thought we would be where we are now.

The club collapsed in the hands of the liquidator and the Ayresome Park gates were locked.

We only got the go-ahead to start the Football League season at 5.20 on the Friday night and the first game of the campaign was on the Saturday afternoon. From that perspective it is an enormous journey.

They were training at the local park, Albert Park, where Boro legend Brian Clough would walk every morning from his family home to Ayresome Park.

There was training, with jumpers literally used for goalposts, and there was a tiny squad of mainly youngsters.

That's where it all began really. The journey since then has been extraordinary.

McClaren expected to be named England coach

A report on