Canadian wine marketing follies

Michael Pinkus points out how not to market Canadian wine:

Jackson-Triggs has two new wines out to celebrate the spirit of the Olympics called "Esprit" — a Merlot and a Chardonnay. Now, let's forget about what's in the bottle for the moment and focus on the outside — the packaging, more specifically, the label. Yes, it's a standard bottle and sure the label isn't as eye-catching as it could be, but take a good hard look at the label, when you get a chance, and you'll notice something's missing. I'll give you a hint by telling you what the wine is celebrating: The 2010 Winter Olympics in British Columbia, currently and arguably Canada's hottest wine region. Time's up?

If you guessed that a VQA logo is missing you'd be absolutely correct. Canada's official wine of the Vancouver games is a blended, cellared in Canada bulk wine, from "imported and domestic" wines, all whipped up by our most recognizable "industry leader". This to me is a crime and a slap in the face to B.C. and all of Canada's wineries. This would be the equivalent of the Albertville (France) Olympic games (1992) having Masi as their official wine; the Sydney (Australia) games (2000) with a George DuBoeuf produced product or the Turin (Italy) games (2006) relying on Wolf Blass for their wine. Am I the only one appalled by this action?

You'd be hard-pressed to find a better example of marketing self-inflicted wounds.

QotD: It isn't global warming, it's domestic heating

[. . .] chilling red [wine] isn't a crime, it's the way its always been . . . it's just the world around us that has changed; let me explain. Today, room temperature is ~70 degrees (21 Celsius) — but in the days when room temperature for reds was first adopted, room temperature wasn't controlled by central air or ambient heat; it was a drafty old French chateau. Here you were lucky if rooms got into mid-50's, and walking around with shorts and a t-shirt on indoors was more likely to give you hypothermia than any kind of comfort. So when you went down to the basement and pulled a bottle off the wine cellar shelf to serve with dinner, it was already "chilled". The idea that red wine, to be served properly, had to be stored next to the oven, was perpetuated by restaurants — and somehow that's just become [accepted as] the norm.

Wine should not be the same temperature as your soup . . . too warm and you kill off all those great subtle flavours. Same can be said about too cold, but if it's too cold, it can always warm up to produce those flavours — too warm, and you're being even more uncouth by dropping a few ice cubes in to chill it down, diluting the taste with water in the process. The only thing worse is stirring in a packet or two of sugar (I've seen and heard about both courses of action)

Michael "Grape Guy" Pinkus, "Raise your Spirits: A Chilly Response", Ontario Wine Review, 2008-03-12

What to do about Vincor's Wine Rack stores

Michael "Grape Guy" Pinkus has some thoughts on what should be done about Vincor's chain of own-label wine stores, now that the company is foreign-owned:

Since Vincor was sold, April 3rd 2006, there has been no consideration or mention of what to do with those Wine Rack stores (you know the little kiosks you find in grocery stores, malls and on street corners that sell Vincor wines exclusively — and one of the few "competitors" to the LCBO’s centralized liquor dominance). The moment Vincor was sold there should have been, and should have continued to be, an uproar about these stores — not stopping until the problem was fixed. Originally the special license to open up additional locations was given to Vincor to promote and sell Ontario wine, but now — not so much. Although Jackson-Triggs, Inniskillin etc. remain Canadian wineries, their profits go south of the border. Have you been in one of these stores (and I don't even have o say lately, because this has always been the case)? Not all the wines on the shelves are VQA, it's that "cellared in Ontario" crap that makes us the laughing stock of the wine world [. . .] Those stores should have been seized from Vincor soon after the sale was made to Constellation and they should have been turned into VQA Wine Stores promoting 100% Ontario wine. Currently, according to the Wine Rack's website, there are 164 in the province of Ontario. If we were to divide those up evenly and geographically among the wineries of Ontario (for argument's sake let's say those that belong to the wine council — 73 in 2007), each winery would have their wines in an additional 2.24 stores. Now say we allow these wineries to have joint control over these locations — buddy-up so to speak with four other wineries (5 in total), these five would have their wines in 11 locations across the province . . . Imagine how many more hands good quality VQA wine would find itself into. These stores would not be allowed to sell "cellared-in-Ontario" wines — only 100% VQA-Ontario product. These stores would serve to educate the public as to what VQA actually is and stands for, because confusion still exists, especially with all those reports about short-crops and lowered percentages. Think about it, the exposure would be amazing and the profits would remain in the hands of our own Ontario-based wineries. Of course the government would get their share, we'd need some kind of governing body over these stores, this is Ontario after all — but let's leave the LCBO out of this one, and create an independent body not beholden to the current monopoly.

Interesting idea, although I'm not normally friendly to proposals to force private companies to disgorge assets at the behest of regulators. In this case, as the stores only exist due to a special dispensation from the regulators, that may not apply with the same force.

That's not wine . . . it's an ostentatious status symbol

At some point, an expensive bottle of wine stops being just wine and starts being primarily a status symbol. Case in point:

Staff were delighted at the sale and the three customers were eager to taste the £18,000 magnum of Pétrus 1961 — one of the greatest vintages of one of the greatest wines in the world — which they had reserved from the cellars several weeks before.

Unfortunately, the guests at Zafferano in Knightsbridge proved to be a little too discerning.

As the magnum was uncorked, they declared it to be a fake, refused to touch the bottle and sent it back.

I enjoy wine, and I'm usually able to appreciate the extra quality that goes with a higher price tag . . . up to a limit. The most expensive wine I've tasted was a $400 Chateau Margaux, which was excellent, but (to my taste anyway) not as good as a $95 bottle I sampled on the same evening (a Gevry-Chambertin). Wine is certainly subjective, so my experiences can't be easily generalized, but I think it would be safe to say that the vast majority of wine drinkers would find that their actual appreciation of the wine tapers off beyond a certain price point.

If you normally drink $15-20 bottles of wine, you'll certainly find that the $30-40 range will taste better and have more depth and complexity of flavour. Jumping up to the $150-200 range will probably have the same relative effect, but you've gone to 10 times the price for perhaps 2-4 times the perceived quality. Perhaps I'm wrong, and the $1,000+ wines have transcendental qualities that peasants like me can't even imagine, but I strongly doubt it. Any wine over $500 has passed the "quality" level and is from that point onwards really a "prestige" thing.

Update: A commenter at Fark.com offered this link as counter-evidence:

"Contrary to the basic assumptions of economics, several studies have provided behavioral evidence that marketing actions can successfully affect experienced pleasantness by manipulating nonintrinsic attributes of goods. For example, knowledge of a beer's ingredients and brand can affect reported taste quality, and the reported enjoyment of a film is influenced by expectations about its quality," the researchers said. "Even more intriguingly, changing the price at which an energy drink is purchased can influence the ability to solve puzzles."

This is why wines are generally tasted blind for comparative purposes (that is, with no indication of the wine's identity provided). It's a well-known phenomena that people expect to enjoy more expensive things than cheaper equivalents.

You can try this one for yourself: next time you're pouring a beer or a wine for a guest, hide the container and tell them that what you're pouring is much more rare/expensive/unusual than what it really is. Most people, either from politeness (they don't want to be rude) or fear of being thought ignorant (that they can't actually perceive this wonderful quality) or genuine belief in what you've said, will go along with the host's deception and praise the drink as being so much better than whatever they normally drink.

Human beings are wonderful at rationalizing . . . and self-deception.

Breaking news: expensive wine really does taste better

A report in this week's Economist on the latest twist in the "do we get what we pay for when we buy expensive wine" issue:

The scanner showed that the activity of the medial orbitofrontal cortices of the volunteers increased in line with the stated price of the wine. For example, when one of the wines was said to cost $10 a bottle it was rated less than half as good as when people were told it cost $90 a bottle, its true retail price. Moreover, when the team carried out a follow-up blind tasting without price information they got different results. The volunteers reported differences between the three "real" wines but not between the same wines when served twice.

Nor was the effect confined to everyday drinkers. When Dr Rangel repeated the experiment on members of the Stanford University wine club he got similar results. All of which raises the question of what is going on.

There are at least two possibilities. The point of learning is to improve an individual's chances of surviving and reproducing: if the experience and opinions of others can be harnessed to that end, so much the better. Dr Rangel suspects that what he has found is a mechanism for learning quickly what has helped others in the past, and thus for allowing choices about what is nice and what is nasty to be made speedily and efficiently. In modern society, price is probably a good proxy for such collective wisdom.

QotD: Cabernet Franc

Ontario's grape is Cabernet Franc [. . .] and after smelling and tasting my way through over 50 different kinds in a variety of styles, I'm even more convinced than ever before. Franc is the blending grape of Bordeaux — the right bank has Merlot, the left bank has Cab Sauv . . . but the lowly Franc has neither, used mainly to add structure to the blend — basically it's a back up role, it's along for the ride, think of it as the Ringo Starr to Merlot and Sauv's Lennon and McCartney.

Here in Ontario, Franc shines. Sure we blend it into Meritages, sometimes it's at the forefront of the blend and other times it takes a backseat, but we also make straight Cab Franc, Reserve Cab Franc, Late Harvest and Icewine Franc wines; we run the gamut of Franc and we make it well and consistently year after year.

I've been in discussions with winemakers, winery owners and wine people from all aspects of the industry — some hear Franc calling out to them while others dismiss it as the rantings of lunacy . . . but it is my belief that Cabernet Franc should be the grape we focus on as an industry and use it to help turn the world's attention to Ontario. It seems these days that every winemaking country has a calling card — a grape to call their own. I mention Riesling you think Germany, Cabernet Sauvignon = California , Shiraz = Australia, Sauvignon Blanc = New Zealand, Carmenere = Chile, Malbec = Argentina , Zinfandel = California, Chardonnay = anywhere that makes wine, same thing with Merlot, of course blends (Meritage) go to France [Bordeaux ] . . . the list goes on and on but nobody has adopted Cabernet Franc as their mainstay. It's homeless — sure it roams the globe popping up here and there, but it has nowhere to call "home". It's time we heed its calling and bring Franc into our fold, and give it a place to finally call home. We have the world's attention with Icewine. Now it's time to show them that we can make other wines too — not just copies of wines from other places, but a distinctive Ontario wine — Cabernet Franc; as with Shiraz, Sauvignon Blanc and Zinfandel, when people hear Ontario, they should think "great Cab Franc".

Michael "The Grape Guy" Pinkus, "My Two Barrels Worth — Cabernet Franc and Ontario", Ontario Wine Review #73, 2008-01-03

So much for opening up the wine market . . .

Jacob Sullum looks at the lack of progress in opening up the domestic wine trade after the US Supreme Court decision on the topic:

In a new report, the Specialty Wine Retailers Association (SWRA) notes that liquor wholesalers have been throwing money at state legislators in a largely successful effort to maintain their government-enforced monopolies on the distribution of alcoholic beverages. Those privileges were threatened by a 2005 Supreme Court decision overturning state laws that prohibited out-of-state vintners from shipping wine directly to consumers while allowing in-state wineries to do so. The Court found that such laws violated the Commerce Clause by erecting discriminatory trade barriers. Since then the wholesalers have been urging state legislatures to comply with the ruling not by opening up their markets but by imposing uniform bans on direct shipping. According to the SWRA (whose members want the freedom to buy directly from wineries), those lobbying efforts have been accompanied by a total of $50 million in donations to state political campaigns, an amount that "dwarfs that of any other sector of the American alcohol industry as well as numerous other groups." In Texas, for example, "alcohol wholesaler political contributions were greater than the political contributions of all gambling and casino interests, retail interests, food interests and all business services . . . combined." This generosity, says the SWRA, "coincides with the enactment of alcohol wholesaler-supported policies in nearly every state that protect the wholesaler."

Yet another proof of the dangers of regulation to a free market. Adam Smith wasn't thinking of the wine trade when he wrote "People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices." People of the same trade are even more effective in this sort of conspiracy when they can get the government to do their dirty work for them.

A different kind of wine rack

The Wine Rack.

QotD: Fake rare wine

The extraordinary inflation of rare-wine prices — of which the Jefferson bottles are the most conspicuous example — has led in recent years to an explosion of counterfeits in the wine trade. In 2000, Italian authorities confiscated twenty thousand bottles of phony Sassicaia, a sought-after Tuscan red; Chinese counterfeiters have begun peddling fake Lafite. So-called "trophy" wines — best-of-the-century vintages of old Bordeaux — that were difficult to find at auction in the nineteen-seventies and eighties have reëmerged on the market in great numbers. Serena Sutcliffe, the head of Sotheby's international wine department, jokes that more 1945 Mouton was consumed on the fiftieth anniversary of the vintage, in 1995, than was ever produced to begin with.

Patrick Radden Keefe, "The Jefferson Bottles: How could one collector find so much rare fine wine?", The New Yorker, 2007-09-03

Alcohol and Islam

Jennifer "Chotzi" Rosen tries to get to the bottom of the Islamic prohibition of alcohol (and it's notable lack of success, early on):

So what is it with Islam and alcohol? The ban is actually more about social engineering than theology. It started when Mohammed (his name be praised) couldn't get his party-animal neighbors to shut up and let him sleep. His first decree merely pointed out that harmful effects of liquor sometimes outweigh good ones. Later, he forbid followers from drinking while praying. When none of this made a dent in local keggers, he finally outlawed drinking altogether.

This left some technicalities to quibble over. For example, alcohol is considered an abomination of Satan as well as najs (impure), khamr (mind-fogging) and haram (forbidden). But while all forbidden things are impure, not all impure things are forbidden. For example, Hashish and Qat, two highly intoxicating herbs, are najs, but allowed.

But what about other products containing alcohol? Are Old Spice and Listerine unholy? What about cough syrup? And if alcohol is the devil’s work, how do you explain Paradise, whose delights, along with the infamous virgins, include rivers of wine flowing free for the drinking?

The explanation is that alcohol, itself, isn't really sinful, only the behavior it causes. Since everything is different in Paradise, it follows that wine there is not intoxicating; it just has "pleasing effects." Whatever that means.

This column isn't up at the usual site, but will get posted to her personal site, http://www.corkjester.com/ soon (well, soon-ish).

Latest OWR now online

The most recent issue of Ontario Wine Review is now online, with Michael dissing those who don't want to take part in the wine bottle recycling program:

We'll start at the top, where Kelly is at the beer store on a Saturday morning, and shock of all shocks, it's busy . . . hmmm. Saturday, middle of summer, beer store busy . . . now that’s a novelty (please read with dripping sarcasm). The problem: the line up to return empties is "enormous". Again shocking — going to the beer store equals bringing back empties, be it beer, wine or liquor bottles these days — and again, it's the weekend, go figure.

Here we get a respite from complaints about long lines for a brief overview of the McGuinty government's policy of "slapping a 20 cent tax on bottles". I hasten to point out to Kelly that it is not a "tax" — it's a "deposit", which means if you return the bottle, you get it back. Same thing applies to 18L water bottles, any rental equipment, or security deposits on apartments, just to name a few — do we call those taxes? But because the government does it, some have decided to label it a "tax" (I'm neither pro- nor anti-McGuinty here I'm just saying . . .). Come to think about it, does anyone consider the 10 cents per beer bottle a tax? I didn't think so.

Update: Also on the general topic of wine, Nick Gillespie interviews John V.C. Nye about his interesting new book, War, Wine, and Taxes: The Political Economy of Anglo-French Trade, 1689-1900.

Wine without whining

Scraped off the bottom of rec.humor.funny, from August, 1996, and attributed to "PiALaModem@aol.com":

The Down And Dirty on The Fruit of the Vine

I'm going to do you a big favor. I'm going to free you from feelings of inadequacy that have been haunting you since sometime in your teens. I'm going to fill you in on the greatest scam ever perpetrated upon the consuming public. I'm going to tell you what I know about wine.

The bottom line is that wine tastes awful. It's just grape juice gone south (forgive me, dixiewhistlers). All the millions of poor slobs dutifully disguising the revolted pucker behind looks of thoughtful analysis, parroting gibberish of which they've no idea of the meaning, studying for hours so as not to be humiliated by menial restaurant employees once again, have fallen for a complex and insidious canard (see COLD DUCK). An "acquired taste" they call it. Well, you could acquire a taste for Ivory soap.

Herewith is a glossary of selected wine terms and what they really mean:

APPELLATION CONTROLEE: French for "Trust me"

AROMA: A bad smell that comes from the grapes; See BOUQUET

BEAUJOLAIS NOUVEAU: Wine so awful that it isn't worth aging.

BOUQUET: A bad smell that's added during processing; See NOSE

BRUT: Describes a wine that sneaks up on you and stabs you in the back. Or a wine dealer. From the Latin, "Et tu, Brute"

CHATEAUNEUF DU PAPE: The pope's new house was paid for by swindling buyers into paying the price for this wine.

DRY: Hurts your throat while swallowing.

FRUITY: Tastes like children's cough medicine. See ROBUST

NOBLE ROT: What well-born wine snobs talk.

NOSE: The total effect of AROMA and BOUQUET; something you wish you could hold while drinking.

ROBUST: Tastes like cough medicine. See FRUITY

ROSE: Many people mistakenly pronounce this to rhyme with Jose. A term for a pinkish wine, named for what an early commentator said his gorge did when he tasted it.

VARIETAL: Having the worst qualities of a single type of grape, rather than a mixture of sins.

VINTAGE: How many years we've been trying to get rid of this rotgut.

QotD: Asking too much of your wine

As a child of divorce, I spent twelve years shuttling between two households, two sets of values, two realities. When, during my parents' frequent spats, I was pressured to take sides — I froze. How could I choose when I loved them both?

I face a certain dilemma in the wine world that feels similar: on one side are producers declaring, "We must make wines of place! Of character! Uniquely quirky wines that sing of grape and terroir!"

On the other, you've got a multitude of consumers who want nothing of the kind. They couldn't tell a mountain vineyard from a valley one and the last thing they need is a new grape to learn. They want wines of predictability and simplicity; of style and fun.

Jennifer "Chotzi" Rosen, "Flow: Pay attention! It's fun", The Wine Jester, 2007-09-03 (link goes to her main website . . . this article will be posted there later)

End-of-August OWR now online

I forgot to link to the latest Ontario Wine Review yesterday. This issue covers a visit to Pillitteri Estate Winery, Featherstone, and the FEWesta Tomato event at Fielding.

QotD: European wildlife and wineries

The vineyards of Germany are terrorized by Nazi Raccoons. Really. Introduced by Luftwaffe chief Hermann Goering in 1934 to enrich Germany's fauna, raccoons have no natural predators. Recently, a delinquent gang of them descended on the Brandenburg region, wiping out the entire grape harvest in days.

France suffers wild boars, but don't think they take it lying down. Always a country of action, they have decided to get the boars out of the vineyards by . . . feeding them in the vineyards. Truckloads of corn. If you think they'd understand that basic economic tenet: what you penalize you get less of and what you reward you get more of, then you haven't seen their welfare system.

Jennifer "Chotzi" Rosen, "Animal Delinquents: There's more to wine fauna than cuddly kangaroos", The Cork Jester, 2007-08-24 (link goes to her main website . . . this article will be posted there later)

Latest OWR now online

The mid-August issue of Ontario Wine Review is now online. This issue talks about something Michael thinks Ontario could learn from New York State, and some Lake Erie North Shore wines he thinks you'll like.

QotD: MADD

What in the world is a MADD rep doing in an article about free booze on trains?

I believe it was a Hit & Run commenter who wrote a few months ago that MADD is no longer just "mothers" — its current president is a man. Nor is it any longer just about "drunk," they [are] generally opposed to drinking, too. Nor, as this article indicates, are they merely concerned about driving anymore. In the MADD acronym, that leaves only the word "against." Whatever it is, if it's related to alcohol, they're against it. Which sounds about right.

Radley Balko, "Mothers Against Buzzed Trainriding", Hit and Run, 2007-08-02

Latest OWR now online

The early August edition of Ontario Wine Review is now online. This issue talks about some of the smaller Prince Edward County wineries and has a brief review of Natalie MacLean's latest book, Red, White, and Drunk All Over: A wine-soaked journey from grape to glass.

Latest OWR now online

The late-July edition of the Ontario Wine Review is now online. This issue features a visit to one of my favourite wineries: Flat Rock Cellars.

Flat Rock specializes in two main varieties of wine: Pinot Noir and Chardonnay; but they, being on the much lauded Beamsville Bench, have also made a name for themselves with Riesling, producing two kinds: and Estate Bottled — which won Best White Wine in Canada for their 2005 vintage; and Nadja's Vineyard Riesling — a wine named after Ed's mom. They also dabble in a little Gewurztraminer on occasion (2006 being their first solo bottling of this grape) — and a white blend known simply as "Twisted" using their three white varieties. When going through the wine store, you'll also notice something else about Flat Rock: prices range from 15-30 dollars . . . pricing that seems at odds with the newer wineries in Niagara these days. For an explanation I turn once more to the words of Ed Madronich, whose pricing-philosophy is based on gaining lifetime customers: "If I can get each customer to buy at least one bottle of Flat Rock wine each year for the rest of their wine drinking days, then I have a customer for life. And the way to do that is to keep my wines reasonably priced, of good quality and accessible." I guess the only ones he won't get as customers are those totally opposed to his closure . . . and that is a shame, because they truly are missing out.

Random PDA photos

A few Treo photos taken over the last few weeks:

Someone missed a clue here: the sign extolls the virtues of Ontario VQA wines, but all the wines on the shelves below are not VQA . . . they're not even Canadian wines!

Latest OWR now online

Michael Pinkus has the most recent issue of Ontario Wine Review online. This issue discusses the new higher-end (that is, more expensive, although not necessarily better) wineries that have been opening in the Niagara region lately.

In a recent discussion with a member of the Ontario Wine Society, we found ourselves chatting about the new wineries opening up in the Niagara region. The member lamented, "it seems, with the exception of Calamus, that the newcomers are high end and expensive." This was said to me on the heels of opening day at Niagara's newest winery, Hidden Bench (June 2) where policies for visiting and tasting were set out thusly: "due to the size of the tasting room we do not do groups of more than 8 persons . . . require an appointment for groups larger than 4 . . . tastings are $10.00 for our flight of four estate wines." Prices for wines started at $18 (for a rosé); $22 (for Riesling); $30 (Chardonnay) and $40 (white meritage).

What my OWS friend is referring to are the Tawses, the Hidden Benches, the Strati, the Ice House, the Alventoes, and the soon to be, new Southbrook that all seem to be a opening up with wine prices that seem to be priced out of this world; a world that’s more California-centric then Niagara-based. In a recent interview I read in the North York Mirror, Brian Kroeker, of the Niagara Grape and Wine Festival, was quoted as saying (jokingly I think), "we're Napa-North, or as we like to say Canapa." It would seem that some are taking this to heart.

I remember meeting the winemaker for one of these new "premium" wineries at a wine tasting about a year before the winery opened its doors to the public, and being treated to a long, ear-bending discussion about the winemaker's goal to produce only $100+ bottles of wine. I thanked him for the samples I'd tasted and quickly moved on . . . I was very much not his target wine-consuming audience!

I mean, good luck to him and his winery, but I have to hope that this isn't the direction all the wineries want to take: I enjoy my wine, but I don't want to have to take on a second job just to support my cellar!

Late June OWR now online

Michael Pinkus has posted the latest issue of Ontario Wine Review. This issue reports on a visit to Huff Estates Winery in Prince Edward County.

QotD: Fairtrade doesn't automatically mean "good"

I tried a 'fairtrade' wine. It was Ochre Mountain Sauvignon Blanc FAIRTRADE, Chile 2006, and was utterly appalling. It was nasty, sharp and acidic, with nothing at all behind it. It was filthy stuff, and I was careful not to get any of it on my hands. Whoever made it has achieved the difficult feat of making a bad Chilean wine. I suppose they think the 'fairtrade' tag will sell it anyway. Fortunately I didn't waste £12.95 on a bottle. I had a glass at £3.65. The five friends with me were so intrigued by my description of its awfulness that they all took a taste, and that got rid of it pretty quickly.

Madsen Pirie, "Utterly appalling", Another Food Blog, 2006-09-05

Early June OWR now online

Michael Pinkus has the early June issue of Ontario Wine Review online. This issue talks about his reservations about the term "reserve", and a couple of wine reviews for Prince Edward County wines.

The wine counter-culture testifies

Bored of the same-old, same-old in wine writing? All those tedious reviews that all seem to use some fancy gastronomic thesaurus to describe the smell and taste of wines? Then perhaps you'll find Deacon Dr. Fresh to be more your kind of wine writer:

World's Lurchest Wine Writer - The Gangsta of the Grape - The Sultan of Shiraz - Yellow Tail's Bane - Locus of the Ladies' Focus - Wielder of the trousered Hammer of Thor - I have arrived to rescue the wine world from overly-serious, rigid, deconstructionist, peckerwoods who'd never dream of gettin' a tattoo or crackin' a smile. I am without a doubt, the smartest, funniest and toughest sumbitch in the entire wine industry. And I aint goin' away. All disputes will be settled bare-knuckled in the Octagon. You heard me.

Update: He provides a secret decoder ring should you be a bit fuzzy on the exact meaning of the terms he uses.

Economics 201

Yeah, that's the ticket! You produce more wine than the market can absorb, and much of it is poor quality. You fix this by: A) reducing output B) improving quality C) both, or D) threaten to resort to terrorism.

In France, apparently D is the correct answer:

A shadowy group of wine activists has issued a one-month ultimatum to Nicolas Sarkozy threatening "action" if the new French President fails to help the industry.

The Regional Committee for Viticultural Action (CRAV) has been known to hijack tankers of foreign wine and dynamite government buildings or supermarkets.

In a pre-recorded message delivered to France 3, a regional television channel, from "somewhere in the Languedoc hinterland", five balaclava-clad men read out a statement addressed to Sarkozy.

Looking more like Corsican nationalists or masked Islamic fundamentalists than winemakers, the "wine terrorists" vowed that if nothing changed and the price they received for their wine had not gone up, they would go "into action".

Samizdata has more.

New OWR now online

Michael Pinkus posted the new issue of OntarioWineReview last week. This issue talks about the Henry of Pelham winery, the Terroir wine event in Prince Edward County, and a report from the New Zealand Wine Fair.

OWR for this week

This edition of OntarioWineReview is now online, with a theme of "Spring Fever in Wine Country".

Neoprohibitionists

Perry de Havilland takes a strong position against nanny state would-be meddling by a group called Alcohol Concern:

Parents who give alcohol to children under the age of 15 — even with a meal at home — should face prosecution, a charity says today. Parents who let children drink should face prosecution, says Alcohol Concern. [...] A charity spokesman said: "It is legal to provide children as young as five with alcohol in a private home. Raising the age limit to 15 would send a stronger message to parents of the risks associated with letting very young people consume alcohol." It is illegal to buy a drink in a pub under 18, but a 16- or 17-year-old can drink wine or beer if having a meal with parents.

You know what I would like to see? Whenever someone threatens me with force if I do not modify my social behaviour more to their liking in my own damn home, I would like them get arrested and thrown in jail. And I would like to see them beaten with truncheons if they do not comply with the cops just like they want for others who do not comply with their wishes. Such people are addicted to using force to impose their will on others and so why not "send a stronger message" that threatening people via the political system is really no different to threatening them with violence via some other institution, like the Mafia, for example.

Latest OWR now online

Michael Pinkus is branching out, launching two new wine-oriented blogs: Ontario Wine Reviews and On the Road with the Grape Guy. This is in addition to the bi-weekly OntarioWineReview, of course. This issue of the OWR includes a visit to one of my favourite wineries, Angels Gate, and a report from the Greek Wines Road Show.

QotD: Australian Wine

A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palate but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.

Black Stump Bordeaux is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good Sydney Syrup can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines.

Château Blue, too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.

Old Smokey 1968 has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian Wino Society thoroughly recommends a 1970 Coq du Rod Laver, which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: eight bottles of this and you're really finished. At the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is 'beware'. This is not a wine for drinking, this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

Another good fighting wine is Melbourne Old-and-Yellow, which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.

Quite the reverse is true of Château Chunder, which is an appellation contrôlée, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation; a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.

Real emetic fans will also go for a Hobart Muddy, and a prize winning Cuivre Reserve Château Bottled Nuit San Wogga Wogga, which has a bouquet like an aborigine's armpit.

Wine Expert (played by Eric Idle), "Australian Table Wines", Monty Python's Previous Record, 1972

Latest issue of OWR now online

This week's edition of the OntarioWineReview is now online. Michael talks about the "cork problem": when contamination from TCA has impaired (or even ruined) the wine:

Simply put, "corked wine" is wine that has been tainted or contaminated by TCA, more specifically 2,4,6-Trichloroanisole. How it gets into your wine is an interesting story. You see, for aesthetic purposes, cork, once it has been taken off the tree, is given a bath in a bleaching mixture. Within said mixture is the real culprit, chlorine, which when it comes in contact with some molds, that occur naturally and harmlessly in cork, causes a chemical reaction. If natural corks aren’t properly and thoroughly rinsed and dried after their bath, the mold lives on and they are considered contaminated, and when said cork comes in contact with the wine, you get the dreaded TCA . . . and that equals yucky wine. I have over-simplified the science and chemistry, but I'm sure you get the point. TCA manifests itself as smells that have been described as wet, musty and moldy, as in wet cardboard, wet newspaper, musty basement, old dirty socks — need I go on? The taste isn't much better than the smell — musty, muted and hollow flavours — subdued is one of the best ways to describe TCA tainted wine. Your wine does not have to be swimming in it either, as little as 5 parts per trillion can be detected. It's not just old wines that can be affected; young wines can get it too. Once the wine comes into contact with tainted/contaminated cork you have yourself some TCA-wine. However, have no fear, it can’t hurt you to drink it . . . it's just not very pleasant and you won't want to, as I found out from my bottle of 2000 Casillero del Diablo (which smelled like the devil’s gym socks).

QotD: Port

The added brandy contributes to port's incredible longevity — good ports from major years can easily improve for fifty years and last for a hundred. [. . .] On the downside, the brandy and the residual sugar contribute mightily to your hangover. Not to mention the fact that you have inevitably thrown back a few glasses of the dry red stuff and perhaps the odd cocktail before you get to the port. The alcohol level of most ports is around 20 percent — as opposed to a rough average of 12 percent for dry red wines — but the next day you may have a hard time believing that it's not even higher. This may be the place to say that it's never a good idea to pour a third glass of port, no matter how excellent the plan seems at the time. And even the second should not be undertaken lightly, particularly by those who hope to get lucky, or to drive home, like patriotic Americans, on the right-hand side of the road.

Jay McInerney, Bacchus & Me: Adventures in the Wine Cellar, 2002-03

New OWR now online

Michael Pinkus has posted the latest edition of the OntarioWineReview. This issue includes a visit to the Lake Erie North Shore DVA.

The Oenophile Next Door

Richard Best has posted the first chapter of his forthcoming wine book, The Oenophile Next Door. He's trying a different approach to wine education:

The current wine book market is overcrowded and highly competitive, with new books appearing almost weekly. Unfortunately for the consumer, most wine books are written to one of just a few formulas: expensive coffee table picture books, everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-wine books, wine buyers' guides, and focuses on certain wines or certain regions.

A new approach to teaching about wine is long overdue.

The Oenophile Next Door is unlike any wine book that has gone before. It is a novelized story that takes the reader on a wine adventure that is rich with education and discovery. Unlike "do all" wine books that tend to recycle established truisms, this book and its characters question much of what has been passed off as wine education.

He's basing his publication plan, at least in part, on the reaction to the first chapter he's posted.

QotD: Scrumpy

Scumble [in Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels] is obviously a reference to West Country "scrumpy" or "scumpy" homebrew cider. Wunnerful stuff. Sweet, smooth, deceptive. I didn't think it was affecting me at all until I tried to stand up and apparently somebody had stolen my knees.

Susan Fox-Davies, posting to the Lois McMaster Bujold mailing list, 2004-04-17

An unexpected down side to wine snobbery

One of the things I didn't expect, when I started getting more interested in wine, was that it would end up ruining some restaurant experiences for me. I've been paying closer attention to the wine business for the past couple of years, with the result that I'm now much more likely to find something acceptable on a wine list or visiting the LCBO or a liquor store when I'm away from home. This is a good thing.

Most of my wine-buying has been down in the wine equivalent of the penny stock market: I still consider anything over $20 to be "expensive". Given that I like to have a glass of wine with dinner most evenings, I'd have to have a much bigger income to support a wine-drinking habit of $500 a month or more . . .

The bad part of accumulating this knowledge is when we go out for dinner. I often know, almost to the penny, just how much a particular bottle of wine cost the restaurant to buy and therefore just how scandalous the mark-up on that bottle is. In short, expect a moderately priced bottle of wine — domestic or imported — to cost at least twice what you'd pay for it retail. Much more than that, and the restaurant is ripping you off. When you see an $18 bottle of wine billed at $50 or more in the restaurant, it's time to find a different place to eat. In general, the cheaper the wine at retail, the more likely you are to find a 250% markup (or more). A more expensive bottle may actually carry a lower markup.

We were in a new restaurant a few weeks back, and not only did I know every wine on the wine list (okay, to be fair, it wasn't a huge list . . . about 20 wines in total), I also knew the current retail prices on them all at the LCBO. Once, I'd have thought this was a good thing . . . except that I found myself feeling oddly resentful at paying the markup for a wine list that pretty clearly was assembled by someone driving down the street to the local LCBO outlet and filling a shopping cart with vin extremely ordinaire. Don't get me wrong: they weren't bad wines, but they were not the sort of thing I'd expected to find in a place that advertised itself as a "bistro". At least, if they had them, they'd be supplemented by a selection of more exotic or unusual bottles.

Part of the attraction of going to a wine bar rather than an ordinary restaurant is the chance to taste uncommon wines . . . the downside to that is that you rarely have an idea what the retail cost of those unfamiliar wines might be, so you're running the risk of over-paying for what you select.

On the general topic of wines, here were the wine books I've read over the past few weeks:

• Billy's Best Bottles: Wines for 2007, by Billy Munnelly.
• A Hedonist in the Cellar, by Jay McInerney.
• Red, White, and Drunk All Over by Natalie MacLean.
• The Cork Jester's Guide to Wine by Jennifer "Chotzi" Rosen

Of the four, I'd rate Billy Munnelly's book the most valuable for beginning wine fans: it's tailored to folks who'd like to know more about the wines that are available in Canada (BC and Ontario in particular), what to expect from them, and (perhaps most importantly) when to serve them. I have a few quibbles with his selections . . . his local winery choices aren't what I'd have recommended in some cases . . . but over all, it's a bargain for anyone who doesn't already have a multi-thousand bottle cellar and specialist wine importers on your speed dial.

Jennifer Rosen is probably the funniest writer in the wine trade. "Irreverant" doesn't even come close to it. I think she's the only writer who should be required to put a "Danger: Laugh out loud humour within. Approach with caution" sticker on her books.

Jay McInerney is far better known for his novels, but I've only read his wine writing. His style is less belly-laugh funny than Jennifer Rosen's, but he does have a deft touch with wine humour . . . I've quoted him more than once on the blog. This book, along with the first collection of his wine writing, Bacchus & Me, is more for the person who's already interested in wine and wants more background on the people than on the brix measurement or the vintage chart.

Natalie MacLean's book is based on her free wine newsletter, Nat Decants, and most of the material in the book is expanded from articles that have already appeared in the newsletter. Not that this should discourage you from buying the book: it's still a very good read.

On the topic of wine

Jon sent me a heads-up that local fast food delivery joint Pizza Pizza now has a wine matching brochure:

Click the image to see the original on the Pizza Pizza site. It's actually not too bad a set of wine choices, although you'd think they'd have managed to select something other than just French wines to match Italian-ish food. Perhaps a few local wines?

They didn't . . . and the reason is clear if you scroll to the bottom of that page. It's sponsored by someone like the "Wines of Bordeaux" (I'm not certain, as that image isn't linked to a website and the image name isn't conclusive. A quick Google search points to this site.)

Also, on a slightly different topic, Michael Pinkus has the latest OntarioWineReview newsletter online. This issue includes a visit to a new winery in the Lake Erie North Shore region: Muscedere Vineyards.

New releases from Kacaba

One of my favourite local wineries has a few new wines being released this week:

2004 CHARONNAY - $22
One half of this lightly-oaked Chardonnay was fermented in new French, American and Hungarian oak barrels and then blended with unoaked Chardonnay. Tropical and citrus flavours along with caramel and toffee, finish with a hint of toast. This full bodied Chardonnay will compliment creamy pasta, vanilla bean risotto, rich poultry dishes, and aged cheddars.

2003 MERITAGE - $35
Dark and concentrated with ripe and rich tannins. A youthful nose of chocolate, coffee and spicy toasted oak. Dense mocha, currant and blackberry-laced flavours tease the palate finishing with a touch of cedar box. A blend of Merlot (50 %) and Cabernet Franc (25%) with Cabernet Sauvignon (25%).

I probably won't have a chance to sample these for a few weeks yet, but Kacaba rarely disappoints. Unfortunately, my budget doesn't stretch to having $35 bottles of wine on a daily basis, but I'd be willing to give it a shot.

QotD: Burgundy

Burgundy is a wine for chronic romantics — those for whom hope perenially triumphs over experience. If you are a sensible person with a family, a full-time job, and a sound belief in cause and effect, you might want to avoid the Côte d'Or. Once you've experienced the transport of a great bottle of Burgundy, you may end your days broke, drooling on Burgundy Wine Company catalogs, offering sexual favours to sommeliers — all in the vain hope of re-creating that rapture.

Jay McInerney, "Baby Jesus in Velvet Pants", A Hedonist in the Cellar, 2006

Jon's First and Last Wine Post!

"The aroma is laden with red currant, plum, chocolate and sweet herbaceous mint character with spicy biscuity oak to compliment the lifted perfume"

Odd wine labels

Brian Reid sent me a link to some cartoon wine labels. It's a significantly different approach to presenting the wine, but I'd have to say that the cartooning style doesn't do a lot for me.

But what do I know? I generally avoid new wines with cutesy animals on the labels, so I'm hardly Mr. Mainstream Wine Drinker, am I?

QotD: Hangovers

Dixon was alive again. Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way; not for him the slow, gracious wandering from the halls of sleep, but a summary, forcible ejection. He lay sprawled, too wicked to move, spewed up like a broken spider-crab on the tarry shingle of the morning. The light did him harm, but not as much as looking at things did; he resolved, having done it once, never to move his eyeballs again. A dusty thudding in his head made the scene before him beat like a pulse. His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum. During the night, too, he'd somehow been on a cross-country run and then been expertly beaten up by secret police. He felt bad.

Kingsley Amis, Lucky Jim.

Latest OWR now online

The first 2007 edition of the OntarioWineReview is now available. In this issue, Michael has a good rant about the abomination that is wine in Tetra-Pak containers:

Just like Peter Finch in the movie Network, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore". The LCBO seems to be forcing its will on the people and in typical Canadian-sheep-like fashion we are going to put up with it . . . again. Well it's time to take a stand. What am I so hopping mad about? Tetra-Paks, and the more I learn, the more incensed I get, and I'm thinking you should be too. Sure Tetra-Paks have their place in society for juice boxes, soups and soy milk — but keep your cotton-pickin' Tetra-Paks off of my wine. You've probably noticed that the LCBO is shifting into high gear promoting this "alternative packaging" as the great saviour in wine packaging — lighter, more versatile, more consumer friendly, and recyclable.

[. . .] Terence Corcoran tells us in his article "Monopoly Wine to Come in a Box" dated December 9th, 2006 in the National Post. "The idea that this is a waste-reduction plan is a trick concept. Glass is heavier than Tetra Pak, so replacing one with the other will reduce waste by weight. But glass, properly sorted and processed, is recyclable. Tetra Pak is not." That's because of Tetra-Pak's make up which is 75% paperboard, 20% food grade polyethylene plastic and 5% aluminum — which makes it light and unbreakable, but for recycling purposes it's a cost nightmare to separate out the materials. Even the new recycling program announced in September and touted by the Premier of the province as dragging Ontario "out of the dark ages" is actually, according to Corcoran, part of the sham to get you to buy Tetra-Paked wines: "This new 20-cent deposit system is actually the product of the LCBO's plan to make a major shift away from bottled products and towards boxes . . . [the LCBO] is mounting a major international effort to get vintners to repackage wines in boxes." The LCBO is also hoping you will see the new deposit-system as another form of taxation on booze and will refuse to pay it, opting instead for the lower cost of Tetra-Wine.

Corcoran puts forth another reason for the LCBO's love of Tetra-Paks, which has nothing to do with environmental concerns. Profits are the main reason for these wine-drink-in-boxes, at the expense of consumers tastebuds. "the LCBO now has business relationships with two box plants." Thus a vested interest in you and I buying and consuming Tetra-Paked wines.

There is another down-side to having a monopoly supplier of wines and spirits here in Ontario: if they get a massive brain-fart (like, for example, wine in Tetra Paks), there's no alternative for most consumers . . . you just go along with whatever the LCBO has decided will be good for you. Or, more accurately, what's good for the LCBO.

QotD: Matching Wine with Food

"Americans need to start viewing wine as an everyday beverage," claim producers. Then, on the back label they write, "Pairs well with truffled oxen snout in finnberry reduction on a bed of flaked Andalusian taro." Sure. Every Thursday.

The front label is even worse. But winemakers refuse to see the problem. "Reading a Moravian label is easy!" they say. "Just three quality levels, ten regions and four grapes. Anyone can learn that!" Yeah, anyone who plans to spend the rest of his life in Moravia.

Jennifer "Chotzi" Rosen, from the Introduction, The Cork Jester's Guide to Wine, 2006.

QotD: Global Warming and Wine

. . . whoever's responsible — be it Ma Nature, or a consortium of evil, greedy, gas-guzzling Western corporations — vineyards are heating up. German whites are improbably lush, Napa and Australia are turning out reds with enough alcohol to be considered breakfast food in Russia, and, for the first time since the Magna Charta, English wine is drinkable.

Jennifer "Chotzi" Rosen, "Russian Roulette", Cork Jester, 2007-01-02

Note that this column is not yet on the website.

Posted by Nicholas at 10:22 AM | Comments (0)

Latest OWR now online

Michael Pinkus' latest issue of the OntarioWineReview is now available at his website.

Latest OWR now online

Michael Pinkus has posted the most recent issue of OntarioWineReview.

QotD: Wine tasting

I dropped into the bottle shop to see what they were selling; a nice young lady was handing out samples of two reds, one of which I'm regretting at this very moment. Starts sweet and ends dry, and while it's suitable, the bouquet might be described as Mummy's Underwear. It was better than the South African brand proffered; I swear you can taste the burning tires. It had a toady top note and finished not just with one note but a dozen, all taken from a 12-tone row by Schoenberg. Sometimes I think they pair a craptacular wine with an average one so you'll congratulate yourself for buying the better one.

James Lileks, The Bleat, 2006-12-04

Latest OWR available

A belated note that the latest issue of Michael Pinkus' OntarioWineReview is now available. The feature article in this issue is a review of the Long Dog Winery in Prince Edward County.

Latest issue of OntarioWineReview now online

Michael Pinkus has posted the new issue of OntarioWineReview. This issue talks about:

. . . issues, which is why I call it "The Issues Issue". First, there's the announcement about the upcoming bottle recycling program in A Call is Answered, then we look at screwcap closures and their swelling popularity in Are You Getting Screwed?, and finally, we learn the difference between Pinot Noir clones, thanks to Flat Rock Cellars, in the Pick of the Bunch.

Too rich for my blood

I got an email yesterday from Vintages, the LCBO's specialty arm, offering a great deal on some Bordeaux from the 2005 vintage:

This beautifully boxed set contains one bottle each from nine of Bordeaux’s best producers. This is a one-of-a-kind opportunity to acquire these legendary wines. Included is Château Pétrus which, during our first wave en primeur (Futures) offer, sold out in record time. This may be your last chance to acquire this wine.

The box contains one bottle each of:

• 2005 Château Margaux
• 2005 Château Haut-Brion
• 2005 Château Mouton Rothschild
• 2005 Château Lafite Rothschild
• 2005 Château Latour
• 2005 Château La Mission Haut-Brion
• 2005 Château Pétrus
• 2005 Château Cheval-Blanc
• 2005 Château d’Yquem

Sounds like a pretty good line-up, wouldn't you say? I'd definitely be interested in trying all of these wines, but there's a minor stumbling block in my way . . . the $8,995 price tag for the selection.

Latest OWR now online

The latest issue of the OntarioWineReview is now available. The feature article this time is a visit to the Mountain Road Wine Company in Beamsville:

As you climb Mountain Road, which starts in the middle of Beamsville, you begin to wonder if you're actually on the right path. But soon, as you crest the hill, you see a sign that says "Mountain Road Wine Company" and you breathe a sigh of relief; but as you turn right into their driveway, the doubt in your mind is renewed. An old steel barn-like building to your right, a large rusty tractor straight ahead, to your left a house — all looking innocuous enough but unlike any other winery you've ever seen. As you make the turn into the parking area, you'll notice a short brick wall that acts as a barrier between the lot and the tree-shaded pond beyond it. From the vantage of your newly acquired parking spot, you are probably under the impression that you are in the midst of some junkyard oasis. Is this really the right place? As you step out of your car and turn to face the building, you notice a small path to the left, leading into an alcove, this is the main entrance to the tasting room of the Mountain Road Wine Company. This is a cottage winery. This is how the big guys got their start, selling wine out of their basement, one bottle at a time. This winery boasts no fancy building; no monstrosity of a production facility; no gravity-flow, high tech machinery; just good, small batch, artisan winemaking.

By the description, the place hasn't changed at all since Brendan and I last visited the winery. We were both absolutely sure we'd turned into the wrong driveway (and starting to hear the distant strumming of banjo music . . .).

Boozy Canucks, updated

If you read the post earlier today, you may have missed the rather extended comment Jon left to clarify the original message:

Duh! I should have tried hunting down the original report. Here it is at the StatsCan weebsite.

This note from the report is interesting, and probably invalidates all of the second-guessing I did the other day:

Note to readers

Statistics on sales of alcoholic beverages by volume should not be equated with data on consumption. Sales volumes include only sales by liquor authorities and their agents, and sales by wineries and breweries and outlets that operate under license from the liquor authorities.

Consumption of alcoholic beverages would include all these sales, plus homemade wine and beer, wine and beer manufactured through brew-on-premises operations, all sales in duty-free shops and any unrecorded transactions.

Similarly, statistics on sales of alcoholic beverages by dollar value of sales should not be equated with consumer expenditures on alcoholic beverages. The sales data refer to the revenues received by liquor authorities, wineries and breweries and these revenues include sales to licensed establishments such as bars and restaurants.

The sales data, therefore, do not reflect the total amount spent by consumers on alcoholic beverages since the prices paid in licensed establishments are greater than the price paid by those establishments to the liquor authorities.

Per capita data are based on the population aged 15 and over.

"The sales data, therefore, do not reflect the total amount spent by consumers on alcoholic beverages." Hmm. You sure don't get that impression from the way the Toronto Daily Socialist reported it.

And, to add even more information to the mix, here is some information from the Reason Foundation, on some surprising correlations between drinking and money:

Numerous studies have shown moderate alcohol use can have important health benefits and now a new report finds drinking can help your wallet too.

Drinkers earn 10 to 14 percent more money at their jobs than nondrinkers and men who drink socially, visiting a bar at least once a month, bring home an additional 7 percent in pay, according to a new Reason Foundation report by economists Bethany Peters, Ph.D., and Edward Stringham, Ph.D.

"Social drinking builds social capital," said Stringham, an economics professor at San Jose State University. "Social drinkers are networking, building relationships, and adding contacts to their Blackberries that result in bigger paychecks."

The study finds that men who drink earn 10 percent more than abstainers and women drinkers earn 14 percent more than nondrinkers. However, unlike men, who get an additional income boost from drinking in bars, women who frequent bars at least once per month do not show higher earnings than women who do not visit bars.

Well, I'll drink to that!

Boozy Canucks

Jon — who really should be blogging — passed along this Toronto Star article on the relative proportions of wine, beer, and spirits sold in Canada. It's pretty unremarkable news, but I thought that Jon's comments were worth posting:

"Canadians spent $638.60 per capita on alcoholic beverages in 2004-05"

Yikes! I bet it's higher than that when you consider the number of people who actually buy and consume the stuff, rather than using the whole population for the "per capita" amount.

Hmmm....

If you divide the $16.8 billion reported in the Star article by $638.60, you get a "population" of 26,307,548.

Looking at the StatsCan population numbers, if you add in the 15-19 group, you get a population of 26,585,000 — which is close to the number above, for estimate purposes.

That puts the potential alcohol buying population at 24,439,200.

How many of those folks are actually buying the stuff? Let's look at the number of people who report that they consume alcohol, and assume that these are the same people buying the stuff.

Average the years 1990-2003 from here and you get a figure of 62.3%. Which puts the alcohol purchasing population at about 15,225,622 (rounded up one to get rid of the decimal).

I work out the actual amount spent by each drinker to $1353.50.

I could be wrong, though. Probably am.

In another email, he also mentioned "The percentage of people who report consumption is probably off, too - those are US numbers. We might be higher here because of cold weather and bone crushing socialism."

Cross-posted to Ontario Wine Blog.

Ontario to move on wine bottle recycling

The Ontario government is now talking about having the private consortium called "The Beer Store" (formerly Brewers Retail) run a wine bottle recycling program in tandem with their existing beer bottle recycling program:

Ontarians will soon be charged a deposit on bottles purchased at the LCBO and will be able to return their booze empties to The Beer Store.

No details were available on how much deposits will be or how quickly the system will be up and running for consumers.

But Premier Dalton McGuinty advised his cabinet yesterday about the ambitious new deposit-return program, sources said. It's a public-private partnership with Brewers' Retail, owned by Labatt, Molson and Sleeman.

This is certainly an overdue measure, especially when you realize that the LCBO sells an incredible amount of wine:

While the Beer Store, which will receive an undisclosed fee for handling LCBO empties, has been successfully collecting bottles for deposit for generations, the liquor stores have resisted implementing a return system.

Instead, the LCBO has been paying $5 million a year into the blue box program, which handles bottles of all colours, shapes and sizes from liquor stores. Liquor stores sell more than $3 billion worth of wine and about $1.4 billion in spirits annually.

Cross-posted to Ontario Wine Blog. Hat tip to Jon, who wrote "Nothing says 'class' like having a 25-cent bottle deposit on your $100 bottle o' chug."

QotD: California Wine

Not so long ago, the phrase California wine belonged in the same book of oxymorons as, say living poet and Dutch cuisine. You knew, on some level, that such things existed, but you didn't necessarily want any of them on your dinner table.

Jay McInerney, "Mondavi on Mondavi", Bacchus & Me: Adventures in the Wine Cellar, 2002

QotD: Grape-stomping

But Lucy is no longer the reigning queen of slap-stomp. That honor belongs to a lady from Fox News. In a video making the rounds, she stomps grapes in a rubber tub set on a high wooden platform. Partway through she falls off and out of camera range, and for the rest of the video you just hear her horrific screams of pain. People can't stop watching this, which maybe explains why they love Lucy.

But it doesn't explain grape stomping. Or the fact that it's still done in this age of hygiene and motors. It's often just a harmless publicity stunt, quite effective when performed at ground level. But some wineries, in Portugal for instance, still press their best wine this way. Drunk men in dirty shirts with unclipped toenails and lit cigarettes dangling from their lips still climb into cement troughs, or lagars, filled with grapes. Then, whooped-up by a local band, they clasp arms and march back and forth in the muck, occasionally falling face down in it.

Fortunately, the alcohol level in Port is high enough to kill both toe jam and jock itch, though some feel those are part of the ineffable bouquet of Old World wine.

Jennifer "Chotzi" Rosen, "I Hate Lucy", Cork Jester, 2006-08-22

QotD: Bordeaux

In 1855 the wine brokers of Bordeaux created the famous classification, which ranked sixty-one wines from first to fifth growth, and the prices for these wines have been rising ever since. I can already hear myself someday trying to explain to my daughter as we sit in the twilight sharing a bottle of Romanian Cabernet Franc how classed Bordeaux — the stuff ranked first through fifth growth — was a beverage that was once bought and consumed by ordinary mortals.

Jay McInerney, "Bordeaux on a Budget", Bacchus & Me: Adventures in the Wine Cellar, 2002.

QotD: Aromatic Wines

Vermouth is one definition of "aromatic wine." But what I had planned to write about was what wine schools and books refer to as "The Aromatic Grapes," namely . . . um . . .

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(Note: this error pops up when wine professionals from India to Singapore to Sweden use some term like it meant something, yet nobody agrees on what. )

Some use "aromatic" as merely an adjective to describe any wine that leaps up out of the glass and grabs you by the beard (I've been meaning to shave that thing), proclaiming its presence and lineage.

Yet not all that wafts from your glass is aroma. The word is supposed to refer only to smells that come from grapes. Nuances from winemaking, like toasty yeast, vanilla-coconut oak, or buttery malolactic fermentation, are known as bouquet. By that definition, a beefed up chardonnay might wave semaphores in your face, but it ain't aromatic.

Jennifer "Chotzi" Rosen, "A Dab Behind the Ear: Just what IS an "aromatic" grape?", Cork Jester, 2006-08-11

QotD: Drinks

One of the fellows I can't understand is the man with violent likes and dislikes in his drams — the man who dotes on highballs but can't abide malt liquor, or who drinks white wine but not red or who holds that Scotch whisky benefits his kidneys whereas rye whiskey corrodes his liver. As for me, I am prepared to admit some merit in every alcoholic beverage ever devised by the incomparable brain of man, and drink them all when the occasions are suitable — wine with meat, the hard liquors when my so-called soul languishes, beer to let me down gently of an evening. In other words, I am omnibibulous, or more simply, ombibulous.

H.L. Mencken, "Reminiscence in the Present Tense", Minority Report, 1956.

Modern wine markets

An article by Karen De Coster and Eric Englund is quite worth reading, although there are some questionable assertions, like this one:

Not all wine is noteworthy. In fact, mass production and the use of low-quality grapes have brought forth a new class of wine known as "plonk." Plonk is a low-quality wine, usually made for the non-discriminating masses. Stores everywhere are loaded with tasteless wines — both domestic and foreign — that offer no distinction in taste between grapes or brands.

I don't know what idyllic oeneological paradise Ms. De Coster and Mr. Englund have been privileged to inhabit, but plonk is far from a new phenomenon. In fact, the vast majority of wine throughout history would be highly complimented to be compared to today's "plonk". Good wine has always been a rarity . . . our modern world — without a doubt — has far greater proportions of "good" wine than ever before (even as quantities of wine produced are growing at a breakneck pace).

Still, I can't fault them for this rather outspoken opinion:

Nothing is more dreadful than a glass of White Zin — yet people rip it off the store shelves like it is penny candy. It’s the most popular wine in America — yikes!! As the old joke goes: "If she drinks White Zinfandel she is easy, thinks she is classy and sophisticated, and actually has no clue. If he drinks White Zinfandel, he is gay." All White Zinfandel should be taken out behind the barn to be shot.

White Zinfandel is to modern wine as Baby Duck used to be to the Canadian wine scene.

Cross-posted to Ontario Wine Blog.

QotD: Zinfandel

Zinfandel has taken a firm hold in the California wine industry because of its ability to produce huge yields. It is the most common black grape variety and can thrive in even the hottest vineyard sites. Zinfandel is the ultimate Rodney Dangerfield (No Respect!) grape because of its association with that awful tasting (sorry ladies) yet highly profitable wine known as White Zinfandel. White Zin is a "pink" wine made from Zinfandel grapes left in contact with the grape's skin for just a short time. Bob Trinchero from Sutter Home Winery started this fad in the early 1970's and made this wine into a HUGE commercial success. Many wineries make the lion's share of their profits from their White Zin sales. The winning formula? Simple: cheap grapes + huge yields + broad California designation (ever heard of a single vineyard White Zin?!) = gigantic money. Too bad you didn't think of that first — you'd have enough cash to fill an Olympic size swimming pool. I'm willing to bet that the majority of White Zinfandel consumers have no idea that Zinfandel is a red grape and capable of making monster wines that can knock your socks off. Don't believe me? Go to a Zinfandel tasting, and see for yourself!

Scott Gunerman, "Zinfandel is American: Get used to it!", Wine Lovers' Page/Brat in the Cellar, 2000

QotD: Wine

"All wine would be red," said the late Leon Adams, "if it could." While I'm not convinced that the Domaine de la Romanée-Conti's '95 Montrachet feels socially inferior when it bumps into a bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau on the streets of Beaune, I can sympathize with Adams's sentiment. Many drinkers think of a white wine as foreplay and feel somehow unsatisfied with a meal that doesn't lead eventually to red. Which is why, though summer undoubtedly has many features to recommend it — hot weather, tiny bathing suits, long days — some of us can't help dreading it as the doldrums of the red-wine drinker's year. It's hard to think about opening that big old bottle of Beaucastel or Beychevelle when you're sweating like a . . . I was about to say pig, but in fact, as my animal-mad wife has reminded me, pigs don't sweat. Sweating like a horse, maybe. Whatever. Anyway, I'm happy to report that some read wines go well with suntan lotion.

Jay McInerney, "Summer Reds", Bacchus & Me: Adventures in the Wine Cellar, 2002

Georges DuBoeuf fined

A French court has fined the firm of Georges Duboeuf for diluting their Beaujolais with non-Gamay grapes:

A French court on Tuesday convicted respected wine exporter Georges Duboeuf Wines of fraud after one of its wineries mixed a variety of grapes in its Beaujolais.

The court in Villefranche-sur-Saone in southeast France fined the vintner the equivalent of about $42,500 Cdn, well below the $212,500 the prosecutor had requested.

While the small quantity of impure Beaujolais wine never made it to market, prosecutors were pushing for big fines to ensure that such practices don't spread in the struggling French wine industry.

Rumours about wine makers in Beaujolais adding grapes or even partly vinified wines from other regions have been common for years. Tony Aspler even used the idea in one of his mystery novels. It's surprising that Georges Duboeuf got off with such a light fine, under the circumstances.

Hat tip to Jon for the URL.

QotD: Grape growing during Prohibition

Come Prohibition, most vineyards were pulled up. Except when owners negotiated good contracts with the church, since the amendment coincided with an enormous rise in communion-taking church goers.

A few vineyards survived selling grapes for juice or the newly popular "flavorings," often sold in casks suitable for fermentation. Grapes were shipped around the country fresh as well as in dehydrated "bricks," labeled with the stern warning: "Do NOT add this to five gallons of warm water, and do NOT add ten pounds of sugar, and yeast, or it will become wine, which would be ILLEGAL!"

Traveling for weeks in un-refrigerated boxcars meant many grapes WERE wine by the time they arrived.

Jennifer "Chotzi" Rosen, "The Color Purple", Cork Jester, 2006-06-28

QotD: Shiraz

Shiraz (known as Syrah elsewhere) is a warm-weather grape well-suited to the temperate zones of southern Australia. Though it may seem absurd to generalize, the typical Australian Shiraz bounds up and introduces itself with a slap on your back, sticks a pot of jam in your nose, then offers to put you up for the night and lend you money. As opposed to the standoffish Rhône Valley Syrah, which usually takes years to open up and address you by your given name.

Jay McInerney, "Big Red Monster From Down Under", Bacchus & Me: Adventures in the Wine Cellar, 2002

VQA stinks it up in ad-land

Jon sent me an interesting email, which I liked so much I decided to use it as a post:

Classical 96.3 is running a series of ads for VQA. The voice asks if you "VQA" and goes on to say that "lots of people do. Behind closed doors. At night. Not that there's anything wrong with that. As long as it happens between consenting adults." And so on. Essentially, it's a refined version of the Monty Python "I bet you do" skit — in fact, one of the commercials ends with "I bet you do."

The point is to get you to hit this weebsite: http://www.doyouvqa.ca.

Way to cheapen the brand, guys.

To me, VQA now stands for "Lowest Common Denominator"

And if that wasn't bad enough, he added the following to the original email:

Found a form! Sent the following!

Heard your radio commercial this morning and thought "Crickey, what a way to cheapen the brand." How about taking a page from Mercedes Benz and referring to VQA wines as "nasty?" To me, VQA is now just an acronym for "lowest common denominator." Way to go. Ah, but you're saying "But the ad worked! You visited the website!" But am I going to buy a VQA wine? No. Does the VQA marque mean to me now what you want it to mean to the consumer? No. Do I expect to see ads for a VQA box o'wine at Wal-Mart? With an advertising campaign like this, yes — I figure that you're heading in that direction. Good luck with that.

Cross-posted to Ontario Wine Blog.

QotD: Merlot

Merlot is the secret weapon of Bordeaux's Pomerol region, the grape that makes Château Pétrus among the most powerful, expensive, and sought-after red wines in the world. It's also the grape responsible for the most insipid red wines of the New World — the white zinfandel of the 1990s, Muzak for your palate. The average Merlot is so wimpy it's hard to believe it even contains alcohol.

Jay McInerney, Bacchus & Me, 2002

Wine lists

Yesterday, as Victor buckled down to a tough day of Guild Wars, Elizabeth and I headed up to Uxbridge for a quiet lunch. Our favourite restaurant in town is Sixty-Six on Brock located, conveniently enough, on Brock.

Aside from the great food, friendly staff, and pleasant surroundings, one of the attractions for me is their wine list. It's not a huge restaurant, so they don't have a 20-page wine list or a full-time wine steward. What they do have, however is a good selection of both domestic and imported wines — with more than a few available by the glass:

Even better, as the fuzzy photo above indicates, the wines that are available by the glass are also available as 6oz or 3oz servings . . . which is great for giving you a chance to sample more of the available wines without either breaking your budget, or needing to call a taxi to get home safely.

I wish more restaurants would adopt such a consumer-friendly wine policy!

Cross posted to Ontario Wine Blog.

QotD: Old Wine

[Aging wine was] a necessity back when young wine had the softness of Brillo and the finish of Drano. Nowadays, most wine comes ready to drink and doesn't get any better. A few can still go the distance, but they're not for everyone. The bottle giveth complexity, but it taketh away fruit. As winemaker Andre Tchelistcheff put it, "Appreciating old wine is like making love to a very old lady. It is possible. It can even be enjoyable. But it requires a bit of imagination."

Jennifer "Chotzi" Rosen, "Encyclopedia of Wine Hokum, Vol A-F, or New Studies on Old Hogwash", Rocky Mountain News, 2004-04-10

Vincor shareholders approve takeover by Constellation

Somewhat to my surprise, the Constellation Brands bid to get control of Canada's largest vintner has succeeded:

Vincor CEO Donald Triggs told shareholders attending the firm's special meeting on Thursday the integration process would involve an unspecified number of layoffs.

"It's a new chapter in the company. I have every confidence that Vincor is going to be the brightest star in Constellation's galaxy," Triggs said.

"That said, the consolidation of the two companies is going to result in some lost jobs. That's very clear. And I must say, particularly in the finance area and in the international divisions, and I'm very sad about that."

Crossposted to Ontario Wine Blog.

QotD: Bad Wine Reviews

While reading Parker can help increase your knowledge about wine, reading bad wine writing doesn't teach you much. Here's Robert Draper in the February 2002 issue of GQ, writing about the 1999 Bacio Divino: "The '99's fruit attack soars like a meteor shower, then seethes in the palate like a cosmic bath of nearly unplumable depths . . . like an unforgettable encounter with a raven-haired ingenue, one is left feeling exhilarated, intrigued, and ultimately covetous." Pfui! That's purple prose all right, and not because it's stained with wine. Besides saying nothing, the paragraph ought to be used in writing schools as an example of mistakes to avoid. Meteor showers don't soar, they fall to earth. Things may seethe on the palate, but not in the palate. The word is unplumbable, not unplumable. And while I may have been exhilarated and intrigued by my encounters with raven-haired ingenues, I've never been covetous. But I thank Mr. Draper for such a magnificent example of bad writing.

Jeff Cox, Cellaring Wine, 2003

Off to Niagara again

Off on another quick wine-tasting tour today. I may post something later tonight when I get back . . . but the smart money is betting against that outcome.

Are we running out of grapes?

That would be the only answer I could come up with for the question "Why would you want to make wine out of seaweed?"

A German marine biologist is carving out a new sideline by developing wine made from seaweed.

Dr Inez Linke says the 16% proof wine, made from the brown laminaria saccharina seaweed, tastes like a fine sherry and is extremely healthy.

"Marine algae contains many minerals, salts, vitamins and proteins that makes this particular wine extremely healthy and boosts the immune system," said Dr Linke.

Of course, last year someone was talking up Chinese fish wine, so who am I to criticize?

QotD: Wine Buyers

Reprinted with permission from Nat Decants Wine E-Newsletter at www.nataliemaclean.com:

According to a 2005 study by U.S.-based Constellation Wines, one of the largest wine conglomerates in the world, buyers of wine worth $5 or more tend to fall into six distinct categories. They describe these as "satisfied sippers," "enthusiasts," "image seekers," "savvy shoppers," "traditionalists" and "overwhelmed." The enthusiasts, for example, are "passionate about the entire wine experience from researching what they buy to sharing their discoveries with friends and family." But the largest group (23 percent, comprising mostly women), are the overwhelmed. They say shopping for wine is complex and stressful, and they worry about making mistakes. They rely heavily on shelf slip tasting notes and staff suggestions.

QotD: Wine Writers

A typical wine writer was once described as someone with a typewriter who was looking for his name in print, a free lunch, and a way to write off his wine cellar. It's a dated view. Wine writers now use computers.

Frank J. Prial, "A Writer Many French Chateau Owners Rely Upon", Decantations, 2001

QotD: Wine Glasses

[. . .] I lack the knowledge of which glass goes with the proper wine. As I understand it, the long-stemmed glasses prevent the palm from changing the temperature of the wine — something I could understand if you had a fever of 104; otherwise, it seems a bit much. Tall stems make the glasses good for two things: tipping over when the table's bumped, and snapping off in the dishwasher. Me, I drink wine from a tumbler. (Hark! Hear the sound of heads striking hardwood floors all across the city, as wine connoisseurs swoon in horror. Sounds like popping corks, no?)

James Lileks, "Is the wine glass ironic or iconic?", Star Tribune, 2006-04-05

This is just wrong

James Lileks talks about a fascinating new wine glass:

[. . .] the Sommelier: a glass version of the ubiquitous kegger cup, mounted on an elegant stem. It's aimed straight at those people who fret that their party's drinkware isn't sarcastic enough. Granted, they're only hip if you know they're a joke, which means you have to hand them out with the assurance that you are reveling in their amusing reinterpretation of an iconic shape. Or you could make an announcement: Folks, I know the glasses are ugly; they're elevating a pedestrian object to a class status it does not inherently possess. Enjoy! Then everyone can drink without wondering what happened to your taste.

QotD: Valentine's Day

ENTRY REMOVED AT REQUEST OF NATALIE MACLEAN

Natalie Maclean, "Seductive Wines", Nat Decants Wine Newsletter, 2006-02-02

QotD: Napa Valley Cabernets

The Quarterly Review of Wines, in a recent piece discussing Beaulieu Vineyard's famous Georges de Latour Private Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon, writes of "green olive and bell pepper" as the signature of Napa Valley Cabernet. Others have spoken of green bean and even broccoli scents and flavours. Personally, I think that vegetables have their place, but I don't want them throwing a party in my red-wine glass. I prefer the red and purple flavours, like currant and blackberry, and the secondary brown ones — coffee, chocolate, tobacco — that I find in a bottle of Bryant. (Mint and eucalyptus are also welcome.)

Jay McInerney, Bacchus & M